(Closed) Bra-less Busty Bridesmaid – not happy.

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Would you make your bridesmaid wear a dress inappropriate for her size?
    Yes, I'm the bride, this is the dress I've chosen. : (1 votes)
    0 %
    Yes, I tried to find a dress to accommodate everyone, and it looks fine on everyone else. : (6 votes)
    2 %
    Yes, you should be perfectly ok without a bra for one night, even if it risks flashing our nan. : (1 votes)
    0 %
    No, because I want everyone to be comfortable and enjoy themselves. : (169 votes)
    64 %
    No, because I agree that bras are standard undergarments for DD boobs. : (75 votes)
    28 %
    No, because low cut, backless dresses are not made for larger girls. : (13 votes)
    5 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    441 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Can we see a picture of the dress, just for curiosity’s sake?

    Can you ask if you can wear a different dress, in the same color?  You are the Maid/Matron of Honor, so that wouldn’t be so weird.  If she is hard to reason with, and she won’t budge, I guess you have to chose, the dress or stepping down.  I think it’s inconsiderate, though.  I hate when brides think what they say goes, with no regard for how other people will feel.

    Post # 4
    Member
    6394 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I would tell her no. I’ve been around the bridesmaid block with my 38Hs, and you just have no choice. It’s not like your being picky! There’s just no way you should be forced to go out in public (much less at a photographed event!) without a bra. It’s just so, so not right. 

    As for the other stuff–that’s also pretty ridiculous. I think I would bring your mom or your dad in on this. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    5475 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    @shinyredthings:  I would just be honest with her:  You are not comfortable going without a bra, and you aren’t in a position to drop $300 on cosmetic items.  If she is willing to look at a dress in the same color or a similar but more conservative style, that is wonderful.  If not, tell her you aren’t able to stand up with her when she gets married and would prefer to be a guest instead.

    Post # 6
    Member
    3697 posts
    Sugar bee

    “Dear sister,

    I will happily wear any dress you choose for the wedding. Before I buy this, though, I wanted to run a question by you. You know that I have a very different body shape than the two bridesmaids, and I’m concerned that you may not like how this dress will look on me, particularly through the bust. I’m sure it will be beautiful on (BM 1) and (BM 2), and I was wondering if you had considered the possibility of doing a complementary Maid/Matron of Honor dress – maybe by the same designer, in the same fabric, etc., but something that would allow me to wear a bra? Just thought I’d ask, let me know what you think.”

    (Feel free to adapt as needed.)

    Post # 7
    Member
    1408 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Oh heck no. My Bridesmaid or Best Man range from size 4-12. I picked my Bm dress around my bigger girl. i asked her what she would be most comfortable in – she insisted on strapless. I was surprised but she said she tried on the dress I liked and it was quite supportive. Go me. Anyways, I would have let her picked another dress in the same color if thats what made her happy. 

    I am a 32Dirty Delete so I understand. The girls must be tucked in – with a bra!!! And nooooo way would I ever order my girls to cover up their tattos, get eyelashes, or a spray tan!! Holy moly. Does she even like anything about you besides being siblings?? This is crazy!!!! another one of my Bridesmaid or Best Man said she was considering getting another tattoo but said she was waiting until after my wedding. I told her to get it whenever she wanted because I want her as HERSELF next to me on my big day.  

    you need to have a convo with her.  This is a bit ridiculous, in my opinion. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    1226 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Making someone cover up their tattoo? Lol, that’s a first… I’ve never heard of anyone making their Bridesmaid or Best Man cover up a tattoo… No disrecpect meant 🙂

    Post # 9
    Member
    817 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2013 - Mansion House at the MD Zoo

    This might be a dumb idea, but they do make those stick-on strapless/backless bras. I have teeny mosquito-bites for boobs so no idea if they work on real breasts, but they are advertised as good for all sizes. Might be something to look into. As far as the spray tan and eyelash extensions goes, I would probably say no. The general rule of thumb I have heard is that if you want people to get stuff like that (or hair/make up professionally done) you either pay for it yourself or make it optional. And re the tattoo cover-up, again I wouldn’t ask someone to cover it, but if she wants you to cover it they sell perfectly good make up that is not airbrush and is way cheaper. It’s still crappy, but at least it’s not crappy AND expensive.

    Post # 10
    Member
    1130 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I have a larger cheast as well. When I was a Bridesmaid or Best Man, I told the brides that, unfortunately, I would have to wear something that would at the very least be worn a standard strapless bra (even that’s a stretch). I wasn’t mean about it, just was upfront about my situation, but if they found a dream dress that didn’t fit the bill (both of these brides were super laid back, so I never worried about that), I actually would have had to have bowed out. I can’t go without a bra and those crazy low back bras or whatever don’t do anything.

    I would just tell her unfortunately you can’t wear a bra with that dress and you would feel extremely uncomfortable without a bra. Then see if she will compromise. Likely, she will understand.

    Post # 11
    Member
    1226 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    She should pay for the airbrushing… that’s ridiculous for you to be expected to pay that. Lol I am missing the main question here I know. I have DDs and I would never agree to go braless if I wasn’t comfortable with it

    Post # 12
    Member
    428 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I would tell her that you’re going to be uncomfortable all day in a dress that is both unflattering and won’t let you wear proper undergarments. Maybe find some similar dresses that you might be more comfortable in to give her some other options?

    Even though the bride is the star on her big day, I don’t know of any bride who wouldn’t want her ladies to look and feel beautiful right along with her.

    Post # 13
    Member
    6015 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: March 2012

    @O.My.Heart:  She’s not .. her sister is making her cover up her tattoo

    I have Dirty Delete and you need the girls supported.  I’d email what KCKnd2 suggested with maybe a little more graphic detail of how with no support for the girls they will be flopping all ove the place and maybe steal her thunder.  Good Luck

    Post # 14
    Member
    195 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I have Dirty Delete breasts and I can assure you, I NEED a bra. I agree with KCKnd2.   

    Post # 15
    Member
    1448 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I don’t know what to tell you. Some thoughts:

    I know that I personally feel it’s unfair to ask my BMs to get a spray tan and eyelash extensions, because it’s expensive and my BMs are already travelling for the wedding.  (I’m also not really for spray tans, but that’s beside the point)  Typically makeup and hair is requested, but people handle this in different ways.

    I don’t think it’s being selfish to ask for a dress that can accommodate standard formal undergarments.

    In some cases brides like to put the Maid of Honor in a different dress.  So maybe, as the Maid of Honor, you could ask her if you could wear something different?

    Can you post a photo of the dress?

     

    Post # 16
    Member
    1226 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    My sister is making the Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses and I let her find the design. I am okay with it as long as i like it. Id rather her like it and want to wear it again :). I just chose the color, and even at that  we chose it together  and I made sure she liked it 

    The topic ‘Bra-less Busty Bridesmaid – not happy.’ is closed to new replies.

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