(Closed) Bra-less Busty Bridesmaid – not happy.

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Would you make your bridesmaid wear a dress inappropriate for her size?
    Yes, I'm the bride, this is the dress I've chosen. : (1 votes)
    0 %
    Yes, I tried to find a dress to accommodate everyone, and it looks fine on everyone else. : (6 votes)
    2 %
    Yes, you should be perfectly ok without a bra for one night, even if it risks flashing our nan. : (1 votes)
    0 %
    No, because I want everyone to be comfortable and enjoy themselves. : (170 votes)
    64 %
    No, because I agree that bras are standard undergarments for DD boobs. : (75 votes)
    28 %
    No, because low cut, backless dresses are not made for larger girls. : (13 votes)
    5 %
  • Post # 47
    Member
    7642 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    You need to be prepared to step down as Maid/Matron of Honor.

    I would say that I need to be able to wear a bra, or I can’t be Maid/Matron of Honor. I would also say that I’m not paying for spray tan, eyelash extensions or tattoo airbrush; but I’m happy to do them if you pay.

    Post # 48
    Member
    9579 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    Um…I think your sister is being TOTALLY unreasonable. I’m a Dear Daughter gal myself and there is no flippin way I would go braless! Those stick on bras are worthless on big chests IMO…

    Post # 49
    Member
    11744 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Okay please keep in mind I have A tatas so I have no experience with the big ladies up top – but, would it be possible to have cups sewn into the dress? Not sure if that would help at all for big boobs, but it’s my go-to when I can’t wear a bra with a dress.  

    Is she paying for the tan and eyelashes?  If not, NO WAY!  That’s quite ridiculous!  It’s one thing to ask you girls to have your hair and makeup done (and even pay for it if it is affordable – not necessarily what I would do but it’s more understandable), but the spray tan and eyelashes is just over the top and unnecessary.  

    I am not a tatoo fan and I am kind of on the fence about having to cover it up – I think both sides of the argument are valid and if it was me with the data, I’d give her that one and have it covered up just to avoid drama.  

    I think if she doesn’t budge with allowing you to wear a different dress, then you should just remove yourself from the wedding. I picked a Bridesmaid or Best Man dress and my mom brought up the point that busty girls may fall out because the cup shape was small – I had never thought of that before – so we changed it to a very similar dress with a bigger cup.  Maybe your sister just hasn’t thought about your big girls?  

    Good luck sweetie, and if you need to get rid of some boobage to fit in the dress, send some my way! 😉

    Post # 50
    Member
    701 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2004

    Ergh, im a E cup at the moment and the only one i let see me with out a bra on is hubby.

    i think sometimes people dont realise what its like to have “hangers” (not saying yours are but i like support for my girls, gravity is not my friend), and im thinking she doesnt know what it will look like. So perhaphs your response could be more aimed at how it affects HER wedding and how your only thinking of HER!!

    Perhaps you should send her a comment back that says, “not sure how a strapless bra would work with this dress. Id hate to look like someone who just stepped out of walmart, and take the spotlight away from everyone saying “look how beautiful the bride looks” to “omg chec out those hangers on that MOH!!”, or even how i would look in all of your wedding photos.”

    and this way it takes the focus of you and puts it onto her, so it wont seem that your saying it for your benifit but for hers. and no, those stick on bras do not work. if she insists they do, buy a pair put on a low cut shirt and walk around in them taking photos every few hours just to show her the sag.. but do this before she orders the dress..

    Also is there a pic of the dress? we might be able to find you a similar one that suits you better, that doesnt take away from her original look?

    Post # 51
    Member
    492 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    Send her a pic of you without a bra with the caption “are ya sure about that.” lol I have F’s and no bra is and will never be an option

    Post # 52
    Member
    3339 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island

    @shinyredthings:  You’re not just a bridesmaid, you’re the maid of honor!  You’d think she’d care more about your feelings…

    Have you tried talking to her about it?  Maybe your request was an oversight on her part.  As for the spray tan, eyelash extensions, and tattoo covering makeup, those are not necessary at all.  If that’s something she wants, then she should have to pay for it.  I’d tell her that straight up.  It’s ridiculous to ask you to spend $300 alone on makeup, especially if you don’t have extra money laying around to drop on frivolous things like that.

    Post # 53
    Member
    4689 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    She’s being inconsiderate.

    Post # 54
    Member
    172 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @jigga143:  I agree!

    Take a picture of yourself wearing the dress (or one similar) bra-less and send it to her. See what she says.

    Post # 55
    Member
    77 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    OK, as a guy, I can’t really sympathize directly with the boobs.

    But this seems wildly inconsiderate and disrespectful to me; not only is she asking you to totally ignore your body type, she’s also asking you to conform to who she is.

    Spray tan? Cover your tatt?

    I mean, fake eyelashes are minor cosmetic enhancement; having seen my wife put these on (and heard the swearing) I know that they’re annoying, but not really a huge inconvenience.

    But she wants you to dye yourself a different color.

    Oh, and hide the artwork you cared about enough to have it permanently inscribed on your body.

    What?

    I wouldn’t be able to stomach it at all, myself. If one of my friends tried to put me in a similar position, I would have not only refused to participate, but also probably called them a lengthy string of dirty names.

    Post # 57
    Member
    3451 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @jo.lee:  just had to shout out a fellow 38H. I’ve never met another so i got excited, lol

    Post # 58
    Member
    412 posts
    Helper bee

    @MR_rosworms:  fake lashes are more if the bride wants them sewn on: $75 + tax + tip at the salon in my area (although they then last for weeks)

    OP – I’d tell her wearing a bra isn’t optional, and that if she doesn’t want it showing, she should get a dress that covers it. If she won’t, either bow out or wear a cardigan. She can’t make you not wear undergarments.

    Post # 59
    Member
    382 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    i agree with some of the PPs… take a video of you walking around in a dress with no bra on! she might change her mind once she sees how boobs work!

    like everyone else I’d love to see a pic, because I’m wondering if you could wear a corset in exactly the same colour underneath the dress? might sound weird but if the colours match it would just look like a variation on the dress.

    Post # 60
    Member
    1123 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I’m in a c, but even if I were in a A I would wear a bra. Could you imagine if a draft were to hit during the ceremony? Everyone would know you weren’t wearing a bra!

    I think there should be options, but there are. Go to a good bra store. They have those sticky bras for all sizes that just cover the breasts but keep them in place and cover.

    I wouldn’t wear a dress if I had to go bra less. I don’t even do that at home, definately not standing up in front of many people for a wedding

    Post # 61
    Member
    6392 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2011

    @Overjoyed: Hahaha, that’s awesome! I used to have another twin on here, but then things…grew. 😀

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