- 6 years ago
- Wedding: March 2013
Hi everyone! My fiance and I got engaged on Christmas of last year. We set a wedding date for this coming April. I jumped right in to planning and have a dress, bridal party/bridesmaids dresses/tuxes, DJ,caterer, cake baker, reception and ceremony venues, photographer, and other various details all booked. I’ve had most of this done for quite awhile, since late spring.
Here’s my problem: My fiance’s brother decided to get engaged a month ago. And now she wants to get married less than two months before my wedding. In the Carribean. We’d have to come up with about $2,000 for the two of us just to get there and stay, plus my fiance needs a passport, and we’d obviously have to eat while we were there, besides the fact that we have limited vacation and can’t take off tons of time from our jobs. I’m a corporate attorney with employees I supervise, so the 7 days I’m taking off for my own wedding is pushing it in my boss’s eyes.
She asked my fiance’s mother to ask me if I thought it was too close in time to my wedding. I told her it wasn’t the close timing, but rather the fact that we’d have to come up with MORE money than we’re paying for our own honeymoon to go to this wedding, right when all our bills for our own wedding are going to be due, not to mention being busy with last minute details and wrapping up projects at work to prepare for the time off. If they would have the wedding locally, or at least somewhere where we’d only have to spend a day or two (and NOT $2000+), I would have no problem with the date. To complicate matters more, my own brother is getting married (he lives 2 hours away) in November of next year, and I was hoping to have at least one day left by then to go down there early.
I am all for every bride being able to have the wedding she wants, and if for her it’s a destination wedding then that is fine. I, however, would like to have the big church wedding I’ve been planning! Everyone is acting like my fiance and I are being UNREASONABLE for not agreeing to go! We thought it was quite rude and inconsiderate to ask us to pay that much to attend their wedding so close to our own wedding/honeymoon. We set our date over a year in advance, so it’s not as if they didn’t know that’s when our wedding was going to be. I don’t want to scale back our wedding to pay to attend theirs, but I do feel bad if my fiance has to miss his only brother’s wedding. I’ve already paid deposits and centered my plans around that date, so it’s not like I could move it if I had wanted to. I’m also under contract for most of what’s already booked.
Am I crazy for being upset about this? It is stressing me out beyond belief during an already stressful time :/ I go from being angry to sad to angry again. I don’t know how to resolve this, and I’m really afraid it’s going to lead to a deeper, life long feud (unfortunately when I move in, they are also going to be our neighbors)