(Closed) Bratty Flower Girls?

posted 4 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
47432 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

No. Your wedding party should be your nearest and dearest. Obviously, they do not qualify.

“Grandma and Grandpa were mistaken when they said that you were going to be flower girls. We are not having flower girls.”

Post # 3
Member
2574 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

You get to have whomever you and you Fiance choose. Not your in-laws choice. My parents are footing a lot more than 8%, and if we’re up to my mom, she would make me have 5 flower girls (a lot of cousins and their children). But I don’t want that and she’s going to be okay with whatever I choose.

 I think it’s completely up to you. I would say thanks but no thanks to having them be a part of the day if you really hate the idea. Especially if they are little shits. 

Post # 4
Member
1808 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

No – I would just have a completely child-free wedding – hire a sitter or two for out-of-town guests with kids. Tell them that Grandma and Grandpa got confused – we’re not having flower girls at our wedding. 

If people can’t control their kids then you don’t want them at your wedding. You don’t want to spend the whole ceremony afraid one is going to throw a tantrum. You don’t want them knocking over the cake, sticking fingers in the food, annoying guests…. 

Post # 6
Member
4227 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom

I’d still invite them (it looks like it may be sticky to get out of) but I wouldn’t ask them to be flower girls!

Post # 7
Member
2355 posts
Buzzing bee

View original reply
@ whoami   youmay have to endure the children at the wedding but I wouldn’t let these to brats be in the wedding party.

I’m sorry you have to deal with this. ick. 

Post # 9
Member
7638 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
@ whoami   If there are 7 kids under 8 in the family, surely it’s unfair to include 2 children and not the other 5. So to be fair, you shouldn’t have any flower girls. (Invite them all to the wedding, but none in the wedding party).

That would be my advice even if those girls weren’t bratty.

Post # 10
Member
1169 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

No way to being flower girls. My FBIL’s kids are snot-nosed, bratty kids, but we asked them to be flower girl and ring bearer and I regret it immensely! We are going to call it on the day of (as in, if they’re being shitty they will not walk down the aisle), but I’m thanking the heavens above that their parents don’t want them at the reception. They’re being picked up by FSIL’s parents after the ceremony, I wonder if that’s an option for you? Doesn’t sound like it, but thought I’d throw it out there.

Post # 11
Member
2159 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

View original reply
@ whoami   I feel you on this. My cousin is similar in temperament. I felt I had to have her as a flower girl, my aunt and grandma would have made the wedding planning so much more uncomfortable than necessary had she not been one. I’m not saying do/don’t make them flower girls just consider if this is the hill you want to die on.

My cousin was hard work. Leading up to the wedding my mum would say things like “well cousin won’t like that” and when I responded with “well she will just be left at the hotel and aunt will have to collect her”, my mum told me I was being a bridezilla! On the day itself she also started to sulk because the hairdresser had done her bun wrong. Fortunately, one of my older bridesmaids is great with kids and has a way of charming them. I also had a lot of diversion stuff in place to distract her when she started.

I also didn’t push for her to be in the photos. Making kids stand nicely and smile for ages is hard work and long (but you try explaining that to grandparents). But also it’s hard to predict if they want to be in all the photos or not so if you have them, talk to your photographer. Your photographer has no doubt dealt with kids being brats before or people staying in photos even when they aren’t needed and might be able to direct you. Consider putting out colouring packs for them and maybe a toy if you do have them, anything to keep them distracted. Fortunately I didn’t see my cousin much after the ceremony and there’s so many people to talk to you can walk away if they start. If you get them pouffy/twirly dresses you can encourage them to dance and show off their dresses.

Post # 14
Member
7638 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
@ whoami   But still, it seems like a ready-made excuse to me. “No flower girls or ring bearers because we don’t want to exclude anyone.”

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