sassy411 : What CMSgirl said rings true. I just stopped speaking on a lot of things or fighting back. he would lawyer me over everything. I rmemeber one time when I was going to a fundraiser and i wore a shapely dress and he said, “You’re not wearing that tonight, are you? Because you need to look like a financial advisor and no wife wants her husband talking to a prospective financial advisor with cleavage showing! You need to dress more like Condoleeza Rice.”
Yep, he said that. Then he followed it up with, “But you look beautiful. Just not appropriate for meeting prospects.”
I remember being so upset I cried on the way there and yes, I had changed my clothes and yes, I probably would have been overdressed for that particular fundraiser. but, either way, he tried to defend himself by saying that, “We’re a team and I just am looking out for you since how you dress reflects on me and on our business.’ UGH……yeah, I am really glad I got fired from that company because I’m so much happier in my new job today!
He was completely lacking in the ability to flirt, as well. See I’m just fueling my reasons for leaving right now, lol! I was getting ready for work a few weeks ago and was horny so I put on a cute lacey bra and panty set from VS hoping my bf would catch on. Not sure why I thought that because he really is clueless.
I heard him stirring in the bedroom so I started getting ready without putting work clothes on yet. He comes in, sees me, and says, “That’s an interesting outfit for work,” and then proceeds to pee and ignore me. I’ve had a few relatiosnhps in the past with men but this guy baffles me, and I have to say that I’ve never met a man who wouldn’t jump at the opportunity to get a flirtatious comment in, a quick grab, peck on the cheek, or promise to take that off of you later kind of thing. Of course, with him, I already knew I wasn’t going to get anything….I was just hoping for a surprise response.
I asked my son last night if he felt I was making a good decision. He’s lived here for 2 years on and off now and he’s old enough and emotionally mature where we can have good conversations. He said, “You’re making the right decision, mom. Dont’ worry.”
My son got along well with my bf’s kids but my son also felt that my bf never really tried to get to know him. He said he didn’t always feel welcome and never knew what to say to my bf. So, I think he was waiting for my bf to initiate communications with him but it never really happened. He also felt that my bf was robotic and difficult to get to know. My bf’s 6 years in the military along with his controlling nature probably didn’t help.
As for the exwife. Well, she had been living closer to her office but my bf didn’t like the location and the traveling back and forth with the girls being so young. So, he kicked the renters out of the rental house and had her move in. It was his suggestion and she obliged despite the hour long commute she would then have.
His ex never received alimony either. She told me once that her lawyer sucked. My bf worked the system and since they both were unemployed when she filed for divorce, there was no almony calculations to be done. She got some money out of the business they had sold but spent a lot of it on legal fees. I’m not sure why she never tried to take him back to court. I do know he paid for everything like health care, after school care, soccer and sports costs, etc and she didn’t pay her 1/2 so maybe it was just a good deal for her?
But, now he’s ticked. He said he’s going after her for her 1/2 of everything. I told him: she doesn’t have the money. You can’t make someone pull money from thin air. Just pay the child support and stop bitching about it.
I’m not sure he’s going to let it go and another one of the reasons I wanted out was because of how he talked about her and was treating her. LIke he was the victim instead of being grateful that all he was out was $400 in rental income. He can still sell the house if he wanted to and collect 100K in equity today, and he still hasn’t had to pay her a dime. And, yet, he was complaining about paying child support? My ex was the same way with me. Didn’t see it as suporting his kid, he saw it as giving me a handout and when I saw my bf acting like that….it really got under my skin.
I guess I could go on, but this is very cathartic for me.