Post # 1
Well from the title you can guess I’m ending my engagement. I’ve been with him over 4 and a half years and we are only recently engaged but I can feel it just isn’t right. I’ve been having mixed feelings for some time and I thought the engagement had helped. I was really excited he asked but after that faded I went back to the blah feelings I had been having. After A TON of thinking I’ve decided ending this is only fair for me and him. We are still both in College and We need to really do what’s best for us !
Me and Him had a long and many talks and though he is very upset (which hurts incredibly) he’s finally accepting it. We do live together with another roomate and are not hostile to one another but things can be tense and I know he still doesn’t completely agree this is best.
But honestly besides being sad for him, I’m happy about my decision! He is now semi seeing another girl and I am geniunley happy they go out and have fun! I am also seeing causually one of my friends from school that has had a small crush on me and I’m so happy! We have so much fun and I feel in him what I have been missing quite sometime. My ex and I don’t agree on many things so It’s nice to see someone have the same views.
But my real question is:HOW DO I TELL MY PARENTS ?
My mother isn’t the most understanding person in the world so I’m very nervous she will yell at me for ending this and bring up every horrible situation she can come up with. She will also probably lecture me on this even though she is twice divorced.
Soooo…. any bees out there that have gone through this. Have any advice? Support? Please no negativity this is hard enough!
Post # 3
Wow, you sound like you’ve handled this so well with your ex-FI. Serious kudos.
Honestly, if I thought my parents were going to be jerks about it, I’d probably tell them over email. And then take their phone call but it would very oddly lose reception when they started into stuff I didn’t want to hear.
Are your parents paying for school/living expenses? That might be the only way I’d be more cautious. But seriously, I would have no tolerance for grief from my parents. What a hard decision this must have been and you deserve nothing but support.
Post # 4
@TxAggie15: Good for both of you for doing the right thing. As far as telling your Mom… just tell her. If she gets nosey or out of line, end the conversation. You’re an adult who made a good choice, you don’t need her blessing.
I should add, it might be best for you and your ex-FI to live separately… don’t slide back in to old routines!
Best of luck to you!
Post # 5
Sometimes you just rip the bandaid off and be done with it. I’d tell her everything you posted. It sounds well thought out and logical and also with heart…..
Post # 6
Something about this seems….off.
Post # 7
Have you put any money down for the wedding?
If you haven’t, I don’t see what the big deal is. You’re an adult and you can make your own decisions, she really shouldn’t have a say in it. I would just explain it rationally like you did here. If she has a problem with it that is really her issue, not yours.
Post # 8
@KTBanana: Yeah…I’m not sure why they would be mad about anything especially if no wedding planning has been done.
Post # 9
I broke off an engagement.
I told everyone who asked that it was mutual, and because we fought too much and were no longer in love. I braced myself for the worst.
But instead, everyone was really supportive, and kept telling me how brave I was. It was kind of weird at the time, but in hindsight I guess it was pretty brave, especially starting over at my age. You will be fine, and anyone who isn’t supportive doesn’t want what’s best for you. And if they don’t want what’s best for you, you don’t need them in your life. (Besides your parents, but I have a feeling they will come around, and will probably be more supportive than you think.)
Post # 10
Well in a weird turn of events my mother literally called me right after I posted this! And suprisingly the conversation went very well. She understood where I was coming from because that was a leading factor in my parents’ divorce. I feel a whole lot better now that she knows. I don’t really have anyone else I need to personally “tell” besides my grandma whom I’m very close with and will understand and I’m sure my dad will also be supportive. My mom was my biggest fear and now that she took it well I’m very happy! Thank all of you for your support..
And to the one of you who said this was off… well sorry you feel that way, I said I didn’t need negativity so good day!
Post # 11
Kudos to you for doing what you feel is right, regardless of the pressure you may feel from others.
I was in similar shoes as yours when I was in my early 20’s. It was only years after that my mom admitted how little she liked him and that she’d even have nightmares about me being back together with him.
Enjoy being single and having your freedom. No doubt when the time is right, the real “one” will come your way. 🙂