(Closed) Breaking the Cycle

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
304 posts
Helper bee

I really wish i could be so “zen” about waiting. i’m at a point where i feel angry with him for postponing the rest of our lives! he has plenty of money for a ring, plenty of money for a wedding… i want to be his wife so badly because he’s my perfect match. and if he would just propose(he says he’s ready and will propose within 5 months) we could start planning the wedding and be married within a few months! he says he just really wants to surprise me and make it special. he’s already had plenty of chances since we first talked about it… ugh it’s so hard waiting… so i basically feel like he’s postponing the rest of our lives for no good reason. thats where i’m at!

Post # 4
Member
3799 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

i moved into the excited/content stage in january. i’m pretty sure this month is it,and today i was told by my SO that he ‘bought something that isn’t for valentine’s day’ (he went ring shopping about two weeks ago and told me he found something but was waiting a little bit before making the purchase to make sure he didnt buy the first thing he found). sooo i’m pretty sure that that’s what he was talking about.

once i got over the resentment i found we have gotten along a lot better and have really been enjoying ourselves. it’s an exciting time and i feel like since i dropped my resentment towards him, i am feeling like i used to when we first met – we have a lot of fun with no pressure, just enjoying each other! waiting and getting information out of them is so hard, especially when you dont always get answers you want, so it was a welcome change to calm down and know it is coming without all the pressure of ‘when when when’. once you know there is an end in sight, it feels so good! hopefully you dont’ have to wait until the very end of the year and it comes sooner. 🙂

Post # 5
Member
359 posts
Helper bee

I’m in the excitement/contentment stage, but it took a few weeks of horrible thing after horrible thing happening for me to get there.  (Job loss, infidelity within his family, death…)  Now, I’m just sort of chill.  We know we’re going to spend the rest of our lives together and can get through anything.  And I’m happy with that.

Post # 6
Member
3601 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

When I was waiting I had two stages: Obsession and Royal Bitch.

Post # 8
Member
5118 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@kirabee: I had @helenberrycrunch:‘s stages towards the end of my waiting. I agree with the observations of your friends and fellow bees. I was cracking jokes and getting antsy with him quite a bit with a few crying discussions mixed in (it had been 6+ years, but we started dating in high school so I gave him some leeway). But still, I was even being a Mega-B to him the night before!

We laugh about it now, but I wish I could have just calmed down and let it ride. It will suck sometimes, but come vent to the hive (I wish I had y’all during my waiting, Mr.ND probably does too, lol). I think he enjoyed proposing 95%, but it would have been 100% had I not been waaaaaaiiiiting for it so hard. I’m so glad you’re in a good place right now with waiting, I hope that you can remember these feelings and all the good reasons if you start to get impatient. I do wish I’d toned it down a bit, but really, I was in @helenberrycrunch:‘s stages, lol. 

Post # 9
Member
3799 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

helenberrycrunch: Deep down I know those were my stages for a while but I really would like to pretend it didn’t happen 🙂

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