(Closed) Breaking tradition

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1222 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I don’t know if this is the same kind of thing, but my mom had a huge cow because I’m dying my crinoline. She just “Doesn’t get why I’d want to ruin it”.

Post # 5
Member
285 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

i think it is sweet that your brother is walking you down the aisle…

it annoys me that some people can be so judgemental about someone else’s wedding…i totally agree that it should be whatever the couple wants and screw the rest of the people…people should be more respectful of what the couple wants and not give them grief about being different/breaking tradition.

Post # 6
Member
2588 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

Oh man, I’ve gotten a ton of negativity. Not on the Bee, but just in general.

1) My mother (and numerous other relatives and even some friends) have given me crap for not wearing white. I want to wear green. I’m the bride. This is the one “bridezilla” move I will make–I hate white dresses and wouldn’t be caught dead in one. Why would I want to wear pastels just to look like everyone’s preconceived notion of a “bride”?

2) Walking down the aisle by myself. No one needs to give me away–I am a grown woman.

3) Not having a religious or spiritual ceremony–FH and I are nonbelievers and happy that way, so please stop waving bibles at us. ๐Ÿ˜‰

4) No veil–just don’t want one.

 

People need to back off, imo. =P

Post # 8
Member
648 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I, actually, haven’t received any comments from anyone about how we are planning the wedding. It’s like no one cares. Mind you we’ve been together for 7 years, have a kid, a house, and kind of do our own thing no matter what… but still! No input from anyone! I told my mom what we are doing and all she said was I wish your sister would do something more like that.

We are going a little different from most weddings we’ve been to around here, but coming here makes me feel almost normal about our plans.

Post # 9
Member
756 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

A couple I know who got married recently decided they would both take her last name rather than his, keeping his as a middle name as a compromise. His family is irate over it!  They are accusing him of “disinheriting his family” and warned him not to tell his sick grandmother about the decision because “it’s the last thing she needs to hear.”  WTH?  Why can’t people just be okay with what the couple wants?

Post # 10
Member
499 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

@Statutory Grape: I feel your pain. While my dress is pretty traditional, I won’t be wearing a veil. I’ve been told I won’t look like a bride, just a woman dressed in white. Ummm… whatever.

Ironically, the fact that I’m going down the aisle alone doesn’t seem to upset anyone. Perhaps that is largely due to the fact it’s not my first trip though.

I’m just grateful no one is fussing me about having a wedding for a marriage that is not the first for either of us. The closest we came to having a problem was when one of my friends said “You know, I just realized I’ve never been to any of your weddings. This will be the first one!” She didn’t mean it the way it sounded, luckily.

Post # 11
Member
2588 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@Encore: Hey, it’s your thing if you wanna do a wedding for a second/third/fourth/eleventh marriage. Go for it! ๐Ÿ™‚ It’s no one’s business but yours and your SO’s, in my opinion.

Oh, that reminds me–I was told outright on another board that it wouldn’t feel like a wedding unless we did plated meals. Sorry–buffet-style apps is all we can afford. I doubt I’ll regret it or feel like less of a bride, lol.

Post # 12
Member
2867 posts
Sugar bee

@mandb122:  I don’t think wanting to be walked down the aisle by your brother is a huge deal.  My fiance and I are walking down the aisle together and exiting the Church together–I feel like we’re both entering and I’m not being “handed” off.   But there are a couple of thinks on WB that get people riled up–children, registeries/money, etc.

Post # 13
Member
2867 posts
Sugar bee

@Statutory Grape:  Lol, I’m pretty sure we’re going to have buffet type meals.  I think that a lot of couples do that.

Post # 14
Member
306 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Oh my goodness, it would take me forever to write out all the crap I’ve heard, and our wedding is actually pretty traditional!  If I had a nickel for every time my mother has said “Oh……. well, every wedding I’ve ever been invited to blah blah blah.”

And tonight, my aunt decided to tell me that “everyone” is “shocked” that I’m changing my name.  I’m very liberal and feminist, involved in women’s groups, etc. and have been forever.  I always said I wouldn’t change my name, but I’ve always believed it’s a personal choice (and the feminist side of me just believes we should have a choice!).  Anyway, having a “family” name is very important to Fiance.  I joke that we made a deal that we’ll have more children (I’d love a big full house, he only wanted one) if I change my name, but really, in my opinion it’s an uber personal choice and I made it for reasons that are important to me.  Period.  I don’t see how or why it’s anyone else’s business! (also as a side note I loved one friend’s take on it when I ranted about someone comments – she said “What difference does it make?  You take your husband’s name, or you keep your father’s.  I know that doesn’t apply to everyone, but it applies to me and I think it’s an interesting perspective!).

Anyway, I guess it’s kind of the opposite of your point – that I’m doing something “traditional” and getting flak for it – but I just think people should take a “best wishes only” or a if-you-don’t-have-something-nice-to-say… approach when it comes to weddings and people’s decisions about them!

Also, @Statutory Grape, I LOVE IT that you’re wearing green!!

Post # 15
Member
2867 posts
Sugar bee

@sessaj:  Lol, your family needs to know that you were relegated to the name you were born with by your father.  So how is that any better?  So I’m with you, choice is great ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 16
Member
2588 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@sessaj: Ha, thanks! FH loves it, too. In his words: “Why should we copy what everyone else is doing? It’s our day–let’s do something different.” I love that man. ๐Ÿ™‚

The topic ‘Breaking tradition’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors