(Closed) Breaking up, do I owe him money?

posted 5 years ago in Legal
Post # 2
Member
3232 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

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suelady:  sorry you’re in this position. Is there any way your home could accommodate a roommate? From what you’ve written it does not sound like you owe him the money – he did it as a gift. 

Post # 3
Member
4210 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I am not a lawyer, but my instinct is no, since you never discussed a repayment plan, or agreed that you would give him anything. He chose to do it without promping, and without you agreeing that you would pay him back, and theoretically you might not have agreed to the money had paying him back been a stipulation, so since you weren’t given a “choice”, I say no.

Post # 4
Member
5940 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

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suelady:  From the way you wrote it, it sounds like he wanted to help you out and it’s NOT a loan. You didn’t have a conversation where he said, “I’ll loan you X amount of money.” And you replied, “Great, thanks. I’ll pay you back $50/month until it’s paid off.” Did you? Is there anything in writing regarding this money, even in emails? I watch a lot of Judge Judy so I’m a pro. :-p Jk. I do hope you can find work soon! My husband was out of work for 4 months and he is older as well. There is definitely agism out there, unfortunately.

Post # 5
Member
1288 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

 

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suelady:  If he took it upon himself to pay your bills and there was no agreement about you paying him back, you owe him nothing. Anyone can print off a statement showing they’ve paid something; it means nothing unless there is a written agreement that you’ve agreed to pay him back.

Post # 6
Member
7509 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

Without an agreement to pay, you’re not legally required to pay him back; however, I’m sure if you ask him, there’s a good chance he is going to magically remember some agreement you made or some statement that made him think it was a loan and not a gift.  So you may want to see if you can work out some agreement with him, which is sure to be less stressful than having him drag you to court in an eventual “he said, she said” battle.

Post # 7
Member
15045 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Legally, no, it doesnt sound like it as there is no evidence that he did this as a loan.  Personally though, I’d just do it whenever I got back on my feet though so that he’d have nothign to hold over me.

Post # 8
Member
302 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

you have the above answers but your most important question tight now should be “How will I survive and make it without his help paying my bills?”.

you need a job. Sitting at home applying online wont get you very far. You need to be out at every office/business within a 30 mile radius dropping off resumes, filling out applications. When you drop them off be dressed for an interview and ask when you will be able to schedule an interview (a lot of places will interview when you drop off your resume if they are hiring-not all).

I’m sorry you are in a difficult position and some things are out of your control (like your friends cancer) but others are in your control if you take the initiative.

I’m not being mean, I’m being realistic. Its hard but it has to be done.

Post # 9
Member
1017 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

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anonladygrace:  She never said she was sitting at home applying online.  For all we know she could be out daily handing out resumes.. Honestly it does sound like she’s taking initiative but is stuck in a crappy job market with some bad luck.

Post # 10
Member
1526 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

Just curious, how long was it between when he paid the bills and when you broke up?

Post # 13
Member
2570 posts
Sugar bee

Not unless you asked him to loan you the amount of the bills, if he just paid them without discussing a repayment plan than he is out of luck getting any money back.

My ex fiance tried to get me to buy back my engagement ring after we had split up and I had already given it back. I told him that I was not willing to do that and why would I want a ring from a broken engagement ( I actually told him to take the ring back within the return window because I knew the engagement wouldn’t work out and he refused) . Just because you want something to become a loan doesn’t mean it can.

Post # 14
Member
2698 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

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suelady:  why not talk about it to clarify? 

Post # 15
Member
302 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

@MangoBreezy:

“I have sent hundredes of resumes/applications, etc and also applied at Temp jobs, fast-food jobs, etc”

implies that she did not drop off the majority of her resumes and sent them instead, and only applied at lower end jobs in person.

finding a job in this market requires full effort. OP has been denied emergency assistance so she needs to get a job ASAP now that she has no help with bills.

:

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