(Closed) Breaking up five year relationship over tattoo. ..

posted 3 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 92
Member
1810 posts
Buzzing bee

I’m with a PP that mentioned your other post regarding how his pregnant ex girlfriend got in touch with him just recently. OP–not to plant any seeds but, you don’t suppose this excuse has anything to do with another woman–his ex or otherwise, do you? He has shown you he is capable. And the timing is awfully convenient. I find it very difficult to believe that someone in love would breakup with another over a tattoo. I could see if he was temporarily turned off. But the silent treatment and then a possible break up? Sounds like he’s trying to end it without being the bad guy–while trying to make YOU the bad guy. Just makes me wonder why now…

Post # 93
Member
236 posts
Helper bee

get a tattoo with the following quote: “dont let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya!” and kiss this big baby goodbye

Post # 94
Member
362 posts
Helper bee

lcvalado :  have you looked online for any resources on signs of emotional or verbal abuse? You brought up the tattoo to him in advance, he didn’t even say he had a problem with it, and then he stopped talking to you and stopped eating food you cooked for three days after you got it. Now he’s saying he’ll break up with you for it. But he never even said that it mattered to him if you did it or told you that he didn’t want you to. I hope that you beat him to the punch and leave. Realize what is going on here. I highly doubt this is his first fit of controlling behavior.   

Mdmc :  I think it’s fine for someone to dislike tattoos and consider breaking up over one, but only if they aren’t playing a controlling game. OP’s SO never said that he disliked tattoos and then took very extreme action after she got one. You and her SO are different. You communicate your preferences while he hides them until she goes against them and then uses that as an excuse to emotionally punish and torture her. 

Post # 96
Member
2542 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

lcvalado :  Bee, I looked at your profile, and every single post you have started is a red flag. It’s not the tattoo, that’s just the latest thing. Yours sounds like a very drama filled relationship.

Post # 97
Member
699 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2019

“If he decides it”…how about you decide that you want to be with someone who’ll accept you for you, and that you deserve more that this idiot! While it may seem hard right now you’ll be better off in the longrun!

Post # 98
Member
10093 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

Do yourself a favor and look as his wanting to break up over a tattoo as the blessing that it is. If he doesn’t love you enough to accept something as silly as a tatoo then obviously he really doesn’t love you all that much. 

I hope that doesn’t sound harsh, but its the truth.

Post # 99
Member
7199 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

 j_jaye :  I get what you’re saying- but I think it has more to do with being kind to the person in front of you. If her Fiance came on here saying “I told my Fiance I didn’t like the idea of her getting a tattoo but she did it anyway. I know it’s her choice, but I don’t know if I can live with it.” I doubt people would be telling him to drown in a pool of dicks. Just like we don’t tell some crazy Bee going nuts about (whatever) a bitch, but we’ll for damn sure call her Mother-In-Law one. 

If you are a relatively sane human being, you are kinder to the person you are talking to. Part of that is sometimes comiserating and making the other person the evil one. Not fair, necessarily, but understandable. 

Post # 100
Member
501 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

I am sorry to hear that. It seems like a petty reason to break up. However, I feel that there are deeper issues beyond the tattoo and your SO is just using that as the reason to end the relationship. My suggestion is to sit with him and have a heart to hear convo. Figure out what really is wrong and if there is anyway to work things out or if it’s best to move on.

 

Good luck

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