- 2 weeks ago
I’m new to this but desperate for some sort of comfort or advice! This is a long story so I’m apologies in advance!
So ive been in a loving and beautiful relationship for 5 years. I’ve absolutely no doubt that we are meant to be, we connected on a deep level, we are best friends and done everything together. Had a happy and fulfilling life. Lived together for two and a half years of the five.
Last year we decided to move to Australia for travel and to save for our future. It was something we decided we owed to ourselves before we settle down and have kids. My partner lived in lots of places growing up but I grew up in the same house all my life, have a very close family and lots of nieces and nephews. Still, I was ready to take on Australia!
So the year we had didnt turn out too great. He loved it from the word go, built up a very good trades business for himself and loved the weather, the sights etc. Me on the other hand… I started to feel anxious and depressed a few months in, longing for home and not finding the enjoyment in anything. I would cry all of the time, find it hard to be motivated to do anything, would kill me that I couldn’t see my family. Worst of all, we were in lockdoen for so many months also. I withdrew from him emotionally and sexually. He always tried to help me in any way he could but it all became too much, we started fighting constantly and took turns to sleep on the couch. We had plenty of fights through the years being a normal couple but this year was the worst.
We talked through everything but resentment started building. I felt he wouldn’t come home with me and he hated that I turned him away all the time.
Things soon came to a close. The tears and the fights escalated. He begged me to book a ticket to go home, to be with my family as that was what I needed. He said he wasn’t going to come but would follow me home in a few months.
So I’ve been home 6 weeks, we agreed to break up for a few months until we have a date where international flights open again(covid). He said he would be willing to come home in a few months and us to go back together for possibly 6 months to see out the rest of the visa. We reassure each other of our love, our future and our plans together. He wants to focus on himself for a while, make the most of his time there, we agreed to work on ourselves to come back together a stronger and better couple.
This is where I’m heartbroken…He said if our months apart were to be prolonged, he would want to maybe have a one night stand. He said his urges for sex are killing him. He wasn’t so blunt but that was the implication. He never wants to hurt me. Meanwhile I don’t want to be with anyone else during this time, I love him too much. He said it would only be sex and it means absolutely nothing. He said I have his heart always. I admire his honesty but I’m so upset and anxious over this.
He said when the time comes for us to be together again, we will talk and talk about everything. He said no matter what I do, who I’m with , it won’t matter to him. He said it will hurt nut nothing will stop him from wanting a future with me. This potential break up could last 4 to 6 months. He doesn’t want long distance because we need the time to make ourselves happy and not be stuck in our phones and holding each other back from living.
Thoughts and opinions please? Go easy on me!