(Closed) Breaking up hard for all

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2289 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Ouch!

If you weren’t planning on having her be a Bridesmaid or Best Man before, I’d recommend not doing it now. Put the wedding stuff aside when you’re with her and focus on her and just keep doing what you’re doing. What does she need? Ask her to come out with you and have dinner, or watch a movie and just relax. Let her cry and talk. Just keep being there for her and leave the wedding stuff alone for a while.

Post # 4
Member
1956 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Tannery Pond at the Darrow School

Aw, that sucks! How sad for her, although obviously the guy was a total douche…

I think that with your wedding so far away, you have tons and tons of time before you have to decide whether to include her in the Bridal Party or not, give her a few months and then assess how she seems to be doing…But if you want her to be a bridesmaid, then definitely ask her since I would think if she’s a good enough friend to be in the bridal party, then she would genuinely happy to be a part of it, regardless of her situation…

Post # 5
Member
257 posts
Helper bee

LOOKS like her wedding, the OP is in August. I’d say it’s too soon and a bit late to include her in on your weddding. She is still hurting and she will still be in August It will be a difficult time but you can not do a thing about it but be a friend to her for real. don’t bring up wedding  unless she does.

Post # 7
Member
647 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Just reverse the situation.  If you guys are close enough friends that you’re considering asking her to be a bridesmaid, how would you feel if you had just been dumped, and then excluded from your friend’s bridal party because you were dumped?  You’re a long way out from your wedding, you don’t need to pick a bridal party any time soon anyway, but I say, let her make the call.  When you do pick your bridal party, ask her to be in it, and follow her lead.

Post # 9
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Give her some time, but I don’t see why, in a few months, she wouldn’t be thrilled to be in your bridal party! Some people need more than a few months to move past a guy and some people just say “screw it, what a loser, i’m over him” and move on. See how she’s handling it in a few months…you got time! I definitely wouldn’t stress about her bailing on events or how she feels yet.

Post # 11
Member
273 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

i say if you think you want to include her ask her opinion on the matter with the ex and your Fiance.  i think this would be best because you’re not planning on asking her right away so the break up won’t be as fresh when you ask her about it, but this will also let her know that while you want her to be a bridesmaid, you don’t want her to be in emotional pain.  i know if it was me personally as long as you gave it a few months (since they were so serious) and then asked me, i would really appreciate the thoughtfulness.  just be sure to make sure she knows you’re asking it because you want her to be comfortable.

ahh, the fun “why wasn’t i asked to be bridesmaid” issue.  i dont see the issue if you just ask 1 friend out of the 5 (as opposed to asking 4 out of the 5).  just let them know you had your heart set on a small bridal party and as much as you would have loved to have included everyone, you just weren’t able to.  

Post # 12
Member
652 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

i don’t think you should ask her to be your Bridesmaid or Best Man either if you weren’t already planning to do so already because if they were next in line as you say, it may not be the best thing for her now or even in a few months.

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