(Closed) Breaking up with a friend–please help! (VERY long post)

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 4
Member
1104 posts
Bumble bee

She sounds awful, and draining, and not someone you want to be friends with. Luckily, you aren’t really friends with her at all so I don’t think it will be too hard to “break up” with her. Don’t stress! This is your chance to start being assertive, something you need to get good at (for wedding planning, and life in general).

I’d probably just send her a message on facebook and say “after your behaviour at our engagement party and your husband’s behaviour, Fiance and I have decided we won’t be inviting you to our wedding, and won’t be seeing you anymore.” Then I’d block her, and delete her phone number. Keep it polite and don’t engage if she tries to argue with you. It’s not like you will ever see them again, and it’s not like you owe them anything either. This doesn’t have to turn into a long saga. Good luck!

Post # 5
Member
2538 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Block her! It’s what I did to someone who keeps popping up in my life.

Post # 7
Member
541 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I would let it fizzle out.  Not return texts or voicemails and hope she gets the hint. I had a friend that sounds like a watered down version of Jane and from my experience I wouldn’t even try to talk to her about or point out her behavior because in my case it turned into a full fledged facebook cyber bulling high school drama until I blocked her. Hope everything works out ok!

Post # 8
Member
213 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Wow, I am so sorry you are going through this! Honestly, I would probably just cut all contact with her.  I know it would be absolutely terrible but I would drop her as a friend from facebook and block her. I would also send her a message or e-mail stating why she is not invited and how inappropriate her behavior was. I would also try and block her from my cell phone.  People like that are not worth the stress on you, your Fiance, or your family.  She obviously does not appreciate or value your “friendship”.  If you want I will get a hold of her and tell her for you!! haha!! Seriously though, you don’t need this stress while trying to plan your wedding, you have to ditch her.  Good luck!!

Post # 9
Hostess
18643 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I would block her on Facebook and not answer her phone calls anymore.  This person is completely toxic and if you can’t stand up to her, you might end up getting in a worse situation.

Post # 12
Member
141 posts
Blushing bee

Scary! (Jane)

I agree with all the blocking and defriending etc.  But you’re right, she’ll come looking for you.  I would ignore her emails / calls / texts / Facebook messages for awhile, and when she finally sees the freeze and asks what’s up, send her one email saying you’ve been thinking about this for a long time – your personalities are just not really a match, and the party weekend was the icing on the cake.  Site what she siad about your brother and state that it was very inappropriate.  Say whatever else you need to say, but be as polite as you can (sounds like you are already automatically polite).  Then allow her to respond once and defend herself just because that is kind.  After that, one more message saying I’m sorry, I just don’t see it that way, and then defriend, block, etc.

That’s what I’d do.

I know you say you are a wimp, but I think this will be good practice for you.  You can do it!  And you REALLY should…

:)Good luck.

Post # 13
Member
213 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

you just let know!! i’ll do it!! lol!!  oh yeah she needs to go.  make sure if you talk to her somehow that you let her know how absolutely inappropriate it is to talk like that you your parents.  

Post # 14
Hostess
18643 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

@tarlonda: I really like her idea about freezing her out then giving her one message before completely blocking Jane.

Post # 15
Member
5388 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

I would tell her off first for calling your FH a bitch and her rude behavior. Make sure you tell her that you never want to speak to her again. Then I would delete and block her from facebook. Also, try to program her number to go directly to voicemail or ring on silent.

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