Post # 1
Have you ever ‘broken up’ with a friend?
I just had to do that today. Today was the day that her contacts were deleted out of my phone and she was ‘defriended’ on FB.
Ever since I have gotten engaged and moved away from the DT core of our city, we hardly ever seen each other and when we do, it’s always just to go out and party. I am just not on the same page as her anymore. And really, it was going bad even pre-engagement.
The two big things that drove me nuts were in Jan she offered to have a bd party for me at her house on a Saturday. Well she went out and partied on Fri (she parties hard – think.. stays up all night) and two hours before the party, called to cancel because she had the flu. Fine, I’m used to it, but Fiance was PISSED! We were all showered and ready to leave as we live about an hour away from her.
Then she was supposed to go wedding dress shopping with my Mum and I, and she didn’t even call me that morning, I called to let her know I was in the area of her place/and the store and she said she had the flu and couldn’t come and to ‘have fun’. This shopping trip was at 11:00 on a Saturday. And I know she went out the night before… like always.
There is a ton more to this story but it would be pages long. So I will leave it at that.
But after her getting pissy when I called her out on this behavior, I basically just feel … done. And for closure, rather than let it just fade completely away, I did the deleting thing. Kind of like you would for breaking up in a romantic relationship
And you know, I’m sad because she won’t be at my wedding, but I feel relief not to have to ‘play the game’ with pretending like she was actually going to keep her word on anything.
I’m weird I guess.
Post # 4
@Oneeleven: I have had to get rid of a friend. She was hanging out with bad people, giving her morals up for her boyfriend (who is my ex boyfriend and the first guy I ever had sex with), Her sister and friends we’re fighting her battles for her. So I said peace out
Post # 5
Just dealt with this a month ago. It sucks “breaking up” with a friend infact I’m still getting over it, but, after it’s all said and done it’s for the best. It’s terrible when a person who you think is your best friend doesn’t seem to care, and whe you talk to them they seem to get so angry and childish about it. Anyway, you’re not weird…totally normal. Good for you for breaking those ties, now you can go on and not have to worry about the games.
Post # 6
I had to shed a friend for pretty much the same reason…she was constantly bailing on plans, or “forgetting” that we had plans. It’s sad when you make plans with someone and expect them to cancel
Post # 7
You did the right thing. Maybe after she settles down and learns how to be a better friend, you might reconnect.
I broke up with a friend about 5 years ago because she was having an affair with a married man (whose wife was pregnant). I found it so morally reprehensible that when it became her sole topic of conversation, I finally had to throw in the towel and say goodbye.
Post # 8
Yeah, I’ve been there. I had a super close friend who was always kind of flaky, cancelling at the last minute, not returning calls, etc. But it got really bad over the past year or so. I kept trying because we had been so close before. The last straw came when she did a no call no show at my wedding two weeks ago. I had gotten an email from her three days before saying she was excited to come and celebrate with us…then nothing. I got home, took her off as a facebook friend, deleted her number, and haven’t looked back. I still haven’t gotten a phone call or email from her so she obviously doesn’t care, but whatever.
I think it’s all about putting those people behind and focusing on the positive people in your life who return the effort.
Post # 9
I had a friend who basically threw her academic and professional future away to marry a guy she was dating on the rebound and who needed Canadian citizenship. She turned down an incredible job opportunity that would have paid off all her debt (which was sizable) because he didn’t want to do long distance for a year, and had a quickie wedding so they could get started on his citizenship paperwork.
It killed me to see my friend giving up the career of her dreams and everything she had worked so hard for because of some guy’s selfishness. Another friend and I tried to reason with her, but she always brushed off our concerns with the accusation that we were just jealous that she was getting married and we weren’t. When it became clear that she was only willing to be friends with us if we lied and pretended to approve of her hasty and irrational decisions, we ended our friendship with her.