- 9 years ago
- Wedding: August 2011
i’m sorry for your loss. i truly do not envy you. i had the worst, mother of all break ups about 4 years ago and it STILL stings at times. nothing anyone says here is going to help you because it just SUCKS that bad. i used to cry myself to sleep every night and PRAY to God to give me amnesia, just so i could forget him and move on. it would have been so easy. i just wanted some eternal sunshine of the spotless mind! (if you haven’t seen that movie – see it – ASAP!)
now i a good time to go out with single friends, drink, carouse and carry on. not saying to become a raging drunk…but those nights spent laughing and carrying on with friends are nights you will remember for years to come.
if you have ever been thinking about making a life change, do it now, while you are feeling brave. i mean…don’t do anything drastic…but now is a good time to start doing something you always wanted to do, but never could because of X, Y and Z. in the next 6 months, yo uare going to start realizing and learning so much about yourself…so much that maybe you were holding back from…or so much that maybe you lost over the years in order to please your ex.
go to concerts/shows. it’s summer…it’s nice out and people are everywhere! nothing beats going to see new live music! i did this a ton after my breakup. i met all kinds of people…even had one of the bands playing crash on my apartment floor for the nite…it was great!
if you’re going to be alone (which you will be, which you need to be sometimes) – be productive. bake and cook for homeless shelters/battered woman shelters (i did this too)…it will really humble you and make you feel like you did something awesome at the same time. maybe even volunteer? i visited an old folks home once a week for years (until i moved), and it was so amazing to go there and have 20 people be genuinely happy to see me, and get my mind off of MY problems for a change.
like i said…it’s going to take massive amounts of time, keeping busy and getting lost in your brand new life. analysis is paralysis, and the more you think and ponder all the what-ifs and might have beens, you’re losing more time. not to say that you should never think of it or speak of it or him again…just don’t spend all of your time contemplating.
this is all easier said than done, truly…but you seem like a strong person and i know you will persevere and you will be better for it.