(Closed) Breakup Stories?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1159 posts
Bumble bee

@lookingforadvice77:  Great thread!

 

About 7 years ago I dated a guy and at the time i thought he was the love of my life (he wasn’t).

 

I had dated him for about 4 months, everything was smooth sailing, i was happy.

 

I received a phone call one day from a girl i went to high school with who knew both of us mutually. She informed me that he had actually been dating someone for 4 years and that she had moved overseas 2 months prior. I logged into his email account,i guessed the password, his password was her name, they were definitely still together. I broke up with him.

 

6 months later he moved overseas to be with her (he had always planned to follow her overseas)

 

They got married last year.

 

Mutual friend told her that he was cheating. She didn’t believe mutual friend.

 

Would you marry someone who decided to date and sleep with someone else the moment you turned your back? Not just a “it’s long distance, i had a one night stand” kind of thing. But actually to pursue someone the second you hop on a plane? It makes me sick to think about it.

 

I actually look like her, and we both became Pharmacists. Guess he has a specific type?

 

I feel sorry for her now that she’s married to him. She just has no idea what he is really like.

Anyway, i learned to be careful with who i trust. I learned what qualities were important in a partner. Also, it was a blessing in disguise for me because my next relationship was with my current fiance and i love him to peices!

 

 

 

Post # 4
Member
9952 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

EVERYONE on WBee has probably heard about my horrific Divorce… so I’ll spare you all that one.

— — —

But maybe I can share a story or two of when I was younger… not so refined, and sometimes a bit hot headed in my College / Uni days when I discovered that a man had done me wrong (cheated).  Lol, I didn’t take cheating men very well in my youth.

— — —

Boyfriend or Best Friend # 1 was my first serious Boyfriend or Best Friend… (as in sleeping together).  We were in College.  He was a city boy… I a country girl.  So at the end of the Spring Semester I was going home for the Summer and would be back in 3+ months time.  We were young, and super in love (lol, or so we thought). 

I was faithful… and upon my return at the beginning of September for the new year, I dropped my bags in my dorm, and went off to find him and tell him I was back.  I found him alright… he was making out with someone else.  I could see them from afar.  I was ticked… I went off to cry.  He didn’t see me.

A day or so later there was a Welcome Back Beer Bash, and I went as he had asked me to (by phone a few weeks earlier, when we had made plans to reconnect when I got back into town).  The usual gang was there… including him, and “his posse” (gang of guy friends).  The guys knew he’d been unfaithful to me over the summer.  They were happy to sit back and watch the fireworks.  My Boyfriend or Best Friend spent the night being really quiet around me and my GFs… (can we say the face of guilty).

At one point during the Evening… this girl (THAT GIRL) came up to him and began to flirt… she might not have known who I was… but I knew who she was.  My Boyfriend or Best Friend was trying to play it cool… knowing I was there too.  But she was agressive (read all over him).  It ticked me off… not sure if it was because of her… or because of his lack of being a man and just being honest with me about how our relationship was done.  I walked off… headed to the Beer table, and ordered 2 Beers.  One of “the guys” had come up to the Beer Table at the same time… he looked puzzled (see I was known as the gal that didn’t drink beer in the group)

I walked over to my Ex-B and poured the beer on him.  It got a HUGE laugh from the posse of guys.  As I walked out… I told him I knew about his dirty little secret.  He was too embarrassed to follow me.

Years later… just before I married my first Hubby, I got a letter in the mail from him (sent to my Parent’s home).  He told me he was confused… he was still with the same girl but it wasn’t working out… he was away for the summer trying to get his head screwed on straight… and thru reflection he had thought of me and how he had made such a horrible mistake to hurt me.  He confessed that he should have stayed with me … I was a waaay more classy gal than the girl he traded me in for.

I remember, I was touched by the letter… but it was too little, too late.  I had grown up a lot in the years in between, and all that was behind me.  I knew without thinking that this Bad Boy from my past would have been far too immature for me… and I was happy to be marrying the man of my dreams.

And so it was… left in the past.

Occasionally when I think back to my youth, and first loves… I think of this guy and wonder what ever happened to him.  And if he ever got his head screwed on right, and found happiness

 

Post # 5
Member
2305 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

I dated a guy in high school for about 3 months. Which at 15 is a Big Deal type of relationship. Anyways, he broke up with me over a website we all used, similar to Facebook or Myspace, with a private message. He told me he ‘didn’t think he could do this anymore’. 

 

Turns out he was dating me only as a bet from some of our mutal ‘friends’ (they were his friends, they just happend to be in orchestra with us so I knew them too). They bet him 50 bucks that he couldn’t get me to sleep with him in under 5 months (I was a virgin and most of hte people knew this). He decided to go with it for 3 months, and then felt bad for me. 

 

I was so heartbroken, and not just because I was broken up with, but because apparently it was well known he was doing this for a bet. And no one told me. I then had to watch him make his way through the rest of the orchestra/band students, and it took him over two years before he would even speak more then 4 words to me. I don’t see him often as I live in a different country, but when i do see him, there’s always a part of me that just wants to slap him as hard as possible. We get along fine now, I support his band when I can, and we chat a bit online ever once and a while. 

 

Post # 6
Member
1735 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I’ve got two – one where the guy broke up with me, and one where I broke up with the guy.

First one: I was in a two-year relationship with a guy. Crazy-in-love, head-over-heels for each other. My best friend was transferring to a different college and wanted me to come with her. I couldn’t imagine my bestie being 5 hours away from me, plus the school she was going to had a better program for the major I was in anyway. Guy and I had several very long conversations about what this meant for our relationship and both agreed that we definitely wanted to continue dating long-distance. We had been discussing marriage at this point, too. He had just one year of school left, I had two, so we figured we wouldn’t have to be long-distance for very long and it was something we could handle.

Turned out only one of us could handle it. We spent almost the entire summer together, just as in love as ever, and then I started at my new school. Two months into the fall semester, he broke up with me. Might I add it was the week of my birthday? I was devastated. A few weeks later he called me up to brag about having sex with another girl and getting her off (I had difficulty in the bedroom and never could). THAT was painful. And I still went back to visit him a few months later, hoping we could somehow fix things. Didn’t happen.

I was pretty messed up for a long time after that. It was a serious blow to my self-esteem and self-worth. But in hindsight, he was a total jerk, so I’m glad that’s over with.

Second one: about a year later. I had met a guy over the summer on a dating site. He lived pretty close and we started hanging out. We were really alike and got along SO well. When we met he wasn’t looking for an actual relationship, more of a FWB thing, and I was still damaged from the previous breakup and didn’t want to be in an emotionally-invested relationship. So the FWB thing worked for us.

Well, pretty soon I had that more-than-friends feeling, but I didn’t know what to do about it. He hadn’t given any hint of being interested in an actual relationship, and I didn’t want to risk the nice thing we had going by voicing my feelings. So even though it hurt, I just internalized it and didn’t say anything. Around this time, my depression started getting really severe, so that plus the unrequited-love feelings really sent me into a downward spiral emotionally. I couldn’t handle it, but instead of just working up the guts to talk to him about it, I started to withdraw from him. We didn’t hang out as much and when we did I was very distant.

Finally one day I broke off our FWB relationship over e-mail (immature, yes, I know). I didn’t hear back from him so I figured he had just shrugged me off and moved on. Then a few days later, I received an e-mail in response. Turns out he DID have some pretty intense feelings for me but just hadn’t had the nerve to say anything. He said some pretty nasty things in the e-mail, I got really angry, and we had a huge fight. And then we just never spoke again.

So yeah, I learned some important lessons from those two. Mainly that communication is key to a successful relationship. And I’m happy to say that Fiance and I have fabulous communication 🙂

Post # 7
Member
1478 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - Creek club at ion, SC

I love this story, I think it shows sometimes how well karma goes around

 

 

 

My Fiance was my first real boyfriend but I was seeing this guy on and off for 2 years. I had a lot of issues with him, as he would flirt outrageously with my friends, especially  one friend, lets call her E  whenever she came to vist me in my city and in hindsight shed flirted back a little and that hurt a lot.  However we “broke up” because he was a real asshole and got into an argument about going into VIP in his section. He worked in the most popular club in the city and was in charge of VIP clients – I always wondered in and it was never a problem. However this particular night one of his clients didnt like me and wanted me out and instead of being a real man and just asking me to leave because his client was being an idiot he came over at me yelling at me, telling me I cant just do whatever I want. We had a heated argument about why he was being an asshole but no real insults were thrown or anything as I still cared about him. All of a sudden he puts his hand in my face (like you know … whatever, get out my face gesture) in front of everyone and kicks me out. He and his client then proceeded to laugh at me, sort of high five you handled her well nonsense.

 

 

 

That really was the last straw and I left. I felt so humiliated and while I cared about him and still had too much respect for myself to let him treat me like that and I just knew I needed to leave him alone so I made that decision that night. Shortly after this I met my wonderful Fiance (in that same club, the next time I plucked up the courage to go there for a friend bday) and stopped clubbing all together as I was too busy travelling and getting wined and dined by him :-).My “ex”tried to split us up for eg. my Fiance went out with his friends to this club on a guys night out (it is the hottest club in the city with 7 floors) and my ex text me to tell me he was there and tried to make out like he was creeping around with some girl at that time when I was talking to him on the phone. 

 

The next time I went there was months and months later when E came to my city to visit me again and wanted to go to that club. I felt like a different person, I had a wonderful man at home and a new found security and confidence. He kept trying to talk to me and I kept telling hiim I really didnt want to but he was persistant which caused him and E to have a massive fight and he tried to kick her out the club. In the end to stop all the drama I agreed to speak to him. He apologised for everything thinking it would get me back. I told him im with Fiance (then boyfriend), and he said “if you dont ever want me to speak to you again just say” so I said “I dont ever want to speak to you again”. He was so shocked (as Id always forgiven him) and just left. 

 

 

 

I absolutely love how this situation turned out. I was so proud of myself for handling him with class and glad i got my apology.

 

Post # 8
Member
1211 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Honestly, my hardest breakup was with my HS sweetheart. We started dating at 16 and we had that obsesive kind of love that’s only possible as a teenager. We did EVERYTHING together. He literally was my entire world. We constantly talked about our future and named our kids…we were each other’s air. 

I was really sheltered and couldn’t see beyond my relationship with him. When we graduated high school, I started meeting all sorts of new people and I realized pretty quickly that he wasn’t my “one.” He was very sincere, kind and loving person and I still look back on our relationship fondly, but I wasn’t ready for such a serious relationship.

It was a 2-3 month breakup. I would try to end the relationship and he would cry and look SO SAD that I would feel terribly guilty and take it all back. I was so young and I didn’t know how to handle hurting him. I ended up making some really poor choices because I was so confused. My mother ended up taking me away for a week because I was such a mess. After a long talk one night, so sat down with me and helped me write him an email ending it for good. I cringe at the fact – but at 18, I had no idea how to just say “it’s over” and take responsbility for his heartbreak and accept it. 

He texted, emailed, called etc for months. It was horrible. I was a disaster. I felt SO guilty. I get teary eyed writing this and it’s been 7 years! 

Anyway – obviously we both got over it and moved on. I talk to him once a year or so and it seems like he’s doing well! 

Post # 15
Member
7208 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

Ok, this one wasn’t the most heartbreaking but it bugged me the longest:

I met a guy online and we started dating. During the 2nd date I mentioned that my company was hiring and he asked for a reference. The day he went in for the interview I seriously considered going to work and telling them not to hire him cause it was awkward, but they apparently offered him a job on the spot, so I was screwed. We dated for 8 months. At some point I felt like he wasn’t the “one” and tried to break it off but he got all teary-eyed vulnerable and said he had been holding back because he felt I was too good for him and we ended up dating a few more months.

Then he just kinda distanced himself. We still worked together but it just sorta fizzeled out. That was fine. I wasn’t heartbroken or anything. 

I worked a late shift and one night when it was just me & a coworker in the office we noticed someone had left a notebook in the breakroom. I looked in it to figure out who it belonged to and realized it was my ex’s. The page I turned to was a to do list that included “check myspace”, which was weird because I didn’t know he had one. 

You know what happened next…. I looked up his page and poked around the comments only to find out he had been dating some woman in AZ for YEARS before we met and was still in a “committed” relationship with her. I. Lost. It. I HATE the idea of cheated and really hated that he made me the other woman against my will. I confronted him (via email) and said I was going to tell her. He ended up getting angry and blocking me from his email address. I sent her a message on myspace but I’m guessing he logged in and deleted it.

Here’s where it gets weird. This was like 4 years ago. Just a couple months ago I got an email from his address that was a reply to one I sent during our relationship. The email I sent was semi-flirty… enough to raise a red flag if he was your Boyfriend or Best Friend but still not concrete evidence of cheating. The reply sent was just “Hey lia, Haven’t heard from you in a while. How you doing?” which, based on our last interaction was a VERY strange email. My guess? I think the girlfriend snooped in his email, saw the email from me and decided to email “as him” to figure out what was going on. I did reply in a very neutral way, but I’m guessing it went to spam or whatever happens when you block someone, so she probably never saw it. Some facebook stalking proves they are still together. Poor girl. 

Post # 16
Member
522 posts
Busy bee

Mine was also my high school sweetheart.

It lasted two years and he was cheating on me for about 3 months.

It was difficult to get over because I was truly in love with him and I just couldn’t comprehend why he was too blind to see that we were meant to be together (I no longer feel this way and I am so grateful that that relationship ended. We would never have been happy together).

I also had made him my entire life and it was super hard to try to pick up the pieces and rebuild after two years of having my life revolve around him.

I have learned to never allow anyone to become my entire life. A relationship has to compliment me and enhance my life not complete me and be my life.

The topic ‘Breakup Stories?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors