(Closed) Breastfeeding fears

posted 6 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 3
5496 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2010

@coacheswife123:  My goal is go exclusively breastfeed, but I’m super nervous, too! I’m worried it will be painful, that it won’t work, that I’ll want to give up/quit, all sorts of feelings! But I just keep telling myself that it is what I think is best for my baby so I’m going to give it my best. I’ve heard many women say to give it a good 6 weeks. Usually, after that it gets easier for most women/babies. So that is what I’ll do. Give it a good 6 weeks before even considering changing plans. I’m so glad you posted this thread. Can’t wait to hear what experienced mothers have to say about their experiences with breastfeeding!

Post # 4
7779 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I was unable to breastfeed due to complications but I did try. I tried to relactate after the complications were corrected, which entailed taking tons of supplements and pumping every 2 hours. Pumping…. is not fun. I decided to stop after I realized that all that time and energy was time and energy I should be spending on her. I don’t think I know anyone who chose to exlcusively pump as a first choice. I do have a close friend who does do it and has been for the past 6 months. She started after major complications with breastfeeding also.

I will tell you up front that if you end up not able to do it, IT’S ALRIGHT. I mean that. You are not a failure, you are not a bad mother and your child will grow up just as healthy and smart. I say that because those were the things I felt after I had to give it up.

I say, if breastfeeding works for you, that’s awesome. The best advice I can give you is to relax. Relax, take it slowly and just listen to yourself and your baby when the time comes.

ETA: If either of you wants to talk to someone who has been through the ringer in regards to feeding issues and has come out the other side just fine, my PM box is always, always open. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 5
3368 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I’ve done Boyfriend or Best Friend and formula feeding… I’ve struggled a bit and gotten discouraged… and I’ve experienced the pure, peaceful moments of succesfully breastfeeding my child~ and I’ll tell you, there is nothing in the world like that moment when you’re holding your child, they’re at peace and you’re relaxed.  I’m not sure what to say to encourage you.  For me, the first few weeks were unexpectedly difficult and going to formula sounded a heck of a lot easier… but once we figured it out, it felt like the most natural thing in the world.  And, it’s a lot easier in the long run to not have to wash, prepare and store formula (especially if you’re leaving the house).  With formula, I was so freaked out about germs and sanitizing bottles and all their parts!  BFing was stressful for me in the beginning but it became a very calm and peaceful time that I looked forward to!  ๐Ÿ™‚

Soooo… I avoided going in depth about the difficulties I had with BFing b/c I didn’t want to scare you (or anyone), but like  zippy said… I felt like a total failure at first.  It was really painful with my first baby, but we didn’t have issues with latching, so it quckly improved.  With my third son, my milk didn’t come in the same and we really, really, really struggled.  I went to La Leche, took supplements, pumped constantly, wore nipple shields that were a pain to deal with… and my husband came home to find me sitting on our bed sobbing b/c I wanted to give up, I was exhausted, and I felt like I had failed.  Pumping and BFing, with wacky hormones and no sleep is not easy.  When it all falls into place, like it did with my first son, it is beautiful and easy.  I cherish the moments I had with my last baby that worked, but pumping exclusively did not keep up my milk supply and we had to go to formula.  He is perfectly healthy, by the way! 

Post # 6
2815 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I EBF my daughter and I am SO glad it’s worked out for us. For me, bottles & nipples & mixing formula seemed so much harder.

My advice would be that if you want to attempt breastfeeding for the first 12 weeks, go for it. Just make sure you have support systems around you. It can be very hard when you don’t have women around you to share their experiences. Look for breastfeeding classes in your area, line up a meeting with the lactation consultant. Read and familiarize yourself with common issues with bfing and how to solve them.

I can’t stress how important the lactation consultant was for me in the early weeks. We had a few issues that she helped remedy quickly!

Even if you only Boyfriend or Best Friend your child for a day, week, or however long, your baby is still getting benefits from bfing. Any breastmilk is good!

Good luck in whatever choice you make!

Post # 8
2095 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Honestly it all depends on you and your baby. I tried with my first child and had to supplement. By 3 months he wanted the bottle only. Back then it wasn’t so bad regarding bottle vs. boob. Part of the reason we had so many issues is that I was pumping mostly in the beginning and didn’t know I had to pump more often to keep the supply up.

With my new baby, he is almost 9 months old. Nursing itself has been seamless. He had no latch problems and had no major problems with milk either. I tried pumping so others could feed him and he was getting a formula bottle once a day to keep his system regular. He now will only drink from the breast. He only nurses a few times a day now since he eats real food mostly. But he was nursing EVERY HOUR, I was losing my mind at one point. I finally got him to the point where he would nurse every two hours. I am not going to lie, it is a lot of time that you do not have to yourself anymore.

With that said you could get a baby that only nurses every 4-5 hours and not have to worry about any of that. Each baby is so different. If you want to give it a try and it doesn;t work out for you or your lifestyle then don;t beat yourself up over it.

Post # 10
128 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

As soon as I was brought back into the hospital room after delivering my daughter, they put her on my boob without any questions asked. Hah! It felt so awkward at first. I was 19 years old at the time and she was my fist child, so it was a little weird for me in the beginning. She had trouble finding where to feed from at first and I had to learn how to help her find her target. Shortly after the initial feeding, I got the hang of it and so did my daughter. The time that was spent breast feding my daughter was peaceful and rewarding. I was able to provide for her like no one else could. I always heard that nutrients in breast milk could not be found any wher else. Looking back now, I realize that the time I spent breast feedig her was time that I was bonding with her. Each time, I woud look down at her and sort of stare in amazement. It really is something that I am glad I chose to take part in and not chicken out. I almost did because I thought it would be somewhat awkward.


Post # 11
4275 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Most hospitals have support for this. Ask your doctor about it.

Post # 14
7779 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@coacheswife123:  I won’t lie and say that people don’t look at you sideways sometimes when you pull the thing of formula out. There is judgement, for sure. I was the same way as you. I wanted to be able to say I tried. I literally tried every single thing possible. Sometimes it just doesn’t work. It’s nothing to beat yourself up over. ๐Ÿ™‚ My lactation consultant told me that the most important thing is the bond between baby and child. If mom is so stressed out and dreading feeding, that bond will suffer and the breastfeeding has to go.

Post # 16
1128 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I think as long as you have a good support team, it will be much easier. You also have to want to do it. If you feel pressure to do it I think you will most likely end up not doing it very long, or at all. Formula is so expensive compared to breastfeeding, plus all the bottles and nipples and cleaning them. I think giving it a try wouldn’t hurt, and then if you decide you don’t want to continue then at least you can say you tried!

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