(Closed) Breastfeeding in front of others…

posted 11 years ago in Babies
Post # 63
Member
3124 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

@ejs – that lady is insane! I like her reasoning – why don’t YOU pop a titty out then? heh

Post # 64
Member
2015 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I’m pro breast feeding in general, but not in public. I don’t have kids, so maybe my perspective would change if I was a mother, but I just wouldn’t be able to do it in public. I see so many moms who do it in food courts at the malls, and honestly, it doesn’t gross me out or anything, but it’s not appealing to see while eating. Going to the bathroom would be entirely appropriate in these situations.

And when you have company over, politely excuse yourself, say you need to feed the baby, and go into another room (nursery comes to mind) and do it privately.

I know breast feeding openly shouldn’t make people feel uncomfortable, but it does. So yeah, I’m all about discretion and see myself doin’ a LOT of pumping before going out in public, or mapping out the closest bathrooms in the area 🙂

Post # 65
Member
226 posts
Helper bee

I just want to point out to the women saying that they’ll just pump before going out.  The more often you feed your baby with a bottle, the more likely they’ll have nipple confusion and not want to nurse. 

Also, many have said that breastfeeding makes people uncomfortable.  That’s correct and it will continue to do so, as long as mom’s hide in the bathroom and nurse there children. 

I’m not saying women should pull it out and nurse with out discretion.  But I do think women should breastfeed discretely in public.

Post # 66
Member
5822 posts
Bee Keeper

@Roddybride09: Um, I think that breastfeeding while you are driving is a little different than breastfeeding anywhere else.  To start with, it’s illegal.

I’m confused by those who think that breastfeeding at a restaurant is somehow gross??  Even if she’s covered and you can’t see it?  How is that ANY different than feeding with a bottle??  I mean if the sound of a kid sucking makes you gag, then don’t have kids because they do WAY grosser things than EAT.

I plan to breastfeed and I don’t think I’ll just let my DD go hungry so that everyone else can be comfortable.  Having said that, I also plan to cover up.  My cousin likes to show her boob, she even has a whole FB photo album of her kids breastfeeding.  I mean really, is it that cute or do you just like pics of your boobs??  As long as a woman covers up, I don’t see a problem nursing ANYWHERE.

Post # 67
Member
2560 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I guess I have to give my FH a lot of credit, because we were out for a day with my 2 friends who each had a 6 week old, and their SO’s, along with the babies and one toddles.

We went to the zoo, our for dinner etc, both friends breastfeed, and we were out for almost 10 hours … you do the math, each kid feeding around every 3 hours, it was 3 feeds each (6 total). They are both totally open, and breastfed (with the apron-style covers) in the group and FH didn’t even bat an eye.

The first time he didn’t even notice until I mentioned it (my friend actually didn’t even really process he was there when she started to feed – she was a little surprised with herself). He didn’t mind at all (because babies need to eat, and because you don’t see anything really it didn’t matter to him). He figures a kid has to eat, and if we had to stop, break group, and have a mommy run away every couple hours it would have been a pain in the @$$ – he was actually way more disturbed when he was holding one of the babies and it barfed breastmilk on him then with the actual feeding.

Post # 68
Member
75 posts
Worker bee

hell no! thats one of the reasons I had to stop nursing! and even when I breasfed at home somebody (not naming names…..a woman family member) grabbed my boob and showed me how to put it in the baby’s mouth.

I felt violated.

And in the hospital, my gay friend Dave was sitting with me on the bed while I was nursing, and then another friend (who is a straight guy) came in and it was just weird.

NO CAN DO.

Post # 69
Member
397 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Yeah… I hate when people do it in public places like restaurants and such. 

I think it’s fine around family and friends at home, as long as there is a “hotter hider” I have a friend who makes those sort of covers and she calls them Milk Shades. They are cute. 

Post # 70
Member
2194 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

i have absolutely no problem with public breastfeeding.  if a woman feels comfortable “whipping it out” then, whatever. i personally would rather see her breast while it’s feeding her baby than the huge, saggy mantits i so often see at the beach.  

personally, i will feed in public, but i’ll cover up. just because i know breasts are sexualized in our culture and i prefer the instrument that is nursing my baby to not be sexualized by the general public.  ew. but again, if another woman is comfortable with that, then more power to her.  i can’t believe there are women who find breastfeeding in public to be totally unacceptable or worse, “gross”. just wow.

Post # 71
Member
2856 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

@MightySapphire – You are absolutely correct about it being illegal but it doesn’t stop some women (select few) from making that excuse. Unfortunately, that was not the only time in the last few years where I have heard about a mother doing that before.

In no way was I trying to compare this woman’s breastfeeding choices to the public vs private options. Just wanted to bring up something that I had remember hearing about in regards to bfing… I guess I was saying that as long as that doesn’t happen, I am OK with what they do. I on the other hand probably would prefer to cover up but who knows for sure until we are in that situation.

 

Post # 72
Member
908 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I will breastfeed if I can, and I’ll do it in public if I have to.  I think it’s pretty easy to be modest about it once you get the hang of it.

A few months ago hubby and I were out to dinner with my brother, SIL and their kids.  The baby wouldn’t eat her dinner and was getting fussy so my SIL nursed her right then and there.  She did it without flashing the entire restaurant, in fact, my hubby didn’t even notice that she was doing it! 

Post # 73
Member
5822 posts
Bee Keeper

@veganglam: “huge saggy mantits” EWWW!!  And totally hilarious!  (My Maid/Matron of Honor calmed me down on my wedding day by pointing out a hairy pair of moobs…I was cracking up the whole day!)

Post # 74
Member
625 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

This is a huge issue I’m having right now.  We are Breastfeeding (BF) and it has not been easy.  I have had to see specialists and can only feed my baby in what is called the football hold (layig to my side as opposed to in a cradle hold like you typically see).  so when I’m feeding DD my whole stomach is exposed.   which isn’t pretty since I just had a baby.. lol.  Not only that but because she doesn’t have a great latch she eats non-stop.  Sometimes for hours straight.  We’re going through a growth spurt and she ate for 10 hours yesterday with only a few 10 minute breaks here or there when she dosed off. And I can’t cover her with a blanket because I have to constantly readjust because she has a bad latch. I have to view everything she does and it takes forever.

So how do I BF in public?  I’m pretty self conscience and I don’t want everyone staring at my jiggly tummy and my breasts.  I’m sure covers and breastfeeding shirts would help a ton but even so it’s so much work… It makes it that much harder to know someone is judging you when you’re doing what you have to do.  I’m not going to let my newborn baby scream in agony because she’s hungry.

So essentially I never leave the house.  It sucks.  We usually go to my sister’s house on the weekends just so I can get out but other than that the only time I leave the house is to go to the Dr..

Post # 75
Member
168 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I never realized there were so many women uncomfortable with breastfeeding in public. I am curious to hear more opinions on whether it’s uncomfortable to see a woman feeding her baby in public if she’s covered up.

I went to a restaurant one time and the woman in the booth in front of me (in my direct line of sight) pulled her entire shirt down, both boobs completely exposed, and fed her child. The boob that didn’t have the child on it dipped into the sour cream and I was having a heck of a time not looking at her sour cream nipple. Yikes!

However, my friend breastfeeds in front of me all the time and I’ve never thought twice about it. She’s discrete and doesn’t make it a big deal, because it shouldn’t be.

I do think as a society we need to be more comfortable with the use of breasts as food because that is what they are designed to be used for – as people we’ve made them sexual objects. I don’t really have a problem with that – they can certainly be used in a sexual manner, but they also have a primary focus of feeding babies. But if tomorrow society as a whole decided that a woman’s hands were a sexual object you’d better believe I’d still use my hand for writing, eating, picking things up, etc.

If you’ve grown up with the idea that breasts should be covered to be modest, of course it’s hard to overcome this idea and view them in a nonsexual manner, but I don’t think breastfeeding moms should have to run and hide because society views their breasts as something sexual rather than as a means for feeding the baby. I do believe it’s appropriate to find a middle ground, and I think breastfeeding in a discrete manner in public is that middle ground – the babies are fed and the boob is relatively hidden from those who have trouble viewing it as a nonsexual part of the human body.  

Post # 76
Member
625 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Sourcream nipple.. lol!Laughing

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