Post # 196
There was this awkward incident at a mall where a woman starting raving like a lunatic at anyone who looked at her while she was breastfeeding. Literally yelling at people that there was no big deal to Boyfriend or Best Friend in public. So then people would look at her, and she would yell that they shouldn’t stare, because she deserves privacy. Um, you’re yelling in a mall… I’m sorry, I’m going to look. I’m not staring cause you’re Boyfriend or Best Friend. I’m staring because you’re calling for attention with your loud soap box speech.
Anyways, as long as the mother isn’t acting dumb (see above), I have no issue with Boyfriend or Best Friend in public.
That said, I think there does need to be some modesty rules in some locations, which for the most part are followed. There’s only been one “issue” with a woman who bared it all, so to speak, in an establishment with the famous “no shirt, no shoes, no service” line. I think that in the shirt required locations, moms should make sure that any exposure is very minimal- which, like I said, most Boyfriend or Best Friend women seem to do. So no problems there.
Now, in a “shirt optional” environment? Whatever floats your boat. Do it topless for all I care. I might do a double take, because I never see this, but I respect it.
Post # 197
MrsUPS: Do you feel like nursing is something to be ashamed of or something that is not natural? What do you think will happen if they do happen to see you feed your baby in the biologically normal way? (Not trying to be snarky, totally respect your right to parent as you see fit, just trying to understand your line of thinking!)
Post # 198
Apple_Blossom: Dare I say that that sounds like an arsehole problem rather than a breastfeeding one??
Post # 199
tails: So an adult can eat in a restaurant but a baby can’t? The only person I worry about when I’m nursing my baby is her – a tiny wee creature who is completely dependent on my husband and I for everything. And no, she does not take a bottle or tolerate a cover.
Post # 200
The thread lives on!
tails: Clearly I am not going to convince you to become sensitive to the needs of a breastfeeding baby and the fact that bottles and covers are not always options. And you clearly won’t change because as you state, the sight makes you feel SICK. A completely natural loving act makes you feel ill? Then I am sorry. You just have far deeper psychological issues that I am not capable of dealing with.
Post # 201
bowsergirl: No I never sad it made me feel sick.. i said it makes some people feel sick. As a mum I am fine with breastfeeding, others are not. My whole point is the feelings of others in a public place
Post # 202
tails: You’re right. I misread. But if someone else feels sick at the sight of breastfeeding, that is their own goddamn problem. Again, it is a loving, nurturing act of a mother providing for the needs of her child in the most natural way possible. If someone feels ill at the sight, then he has some deeper issues he needs to address. It’s not the public’s responsibility to shield him from things that make him uncomfortable when they are not lude or malicious.
But I figure I can’t win in this, so I bow out of this thread.
Post # 203
bowsergirl: tails: yah sorry but I cannot for the life of me fathom why it would make someone feel sick to watch it, aside from serious psychological issues. it’s not a dirty diaper we are changing here!
watching obese people slam down burgers might make some people feel sick to watch but no one is telling them not to eat in public.
Post # 204
The SIL’s on my side never bf in public, it’s not in their makeup to do that. They would pump prior and have a few bottles with them. On DH’s side, his sister did it with a cover, she was pretty stealth, I’ve had look her in the eye convo’s with her at dinner and not even realized until it’s over what she was doing. I support them both.
I did have an bewildering dinner with a huge group, including a couples 4.5 year old who just came up and hit her mom in the breast and said feeeeed me. Right there while the kid was standing in the aisleway her mom bf her. That’s the only one i’ve seen that I just can’t wrap my head around.
Post # 205
I don’t care about people breastfeeding in public, it just doesn’t phase me. I’m probably more likely to stare at the baby lol. As for myself, I probably wont, but it’s because I’m self-concious about my breasts not because I’m afraid of offending someone.
Post # 206
MrsWBS: I don’t think protesting at a government building is about poor treatment. If someone treats you poorly, deal with it right to their face. I think generally social attitudes about this are changing in a positive way.
Post # 207
There r alot of aspects of parenthood that frankly make me glad I have chosen to remain childfree. Maybe I have psychological issues that no one is equipped to deal with. But I have seen some things that just freaked me out. Breastfeeding is one aspect Ive seen that I never want to deal with. When I was 10, i saw a woman Boyfriend or Best Friend only kinda sorta discreetly with an older creepy looking man sitting next to her staring and rubbing himself. I knew what she was doing and kinda also knew what he was doing. It disgusted me even tho I knew exactly what it was. Turned me off of the idea of Boyfriend or Best Friend. So is changing a shitty diaper and disgarding it on the ground NOT WRAPPED into its neat little ball near where children play and walking away. So is letting a 5, 6, 7 yo child run around TOTALLY naked in front of strangers in a public park (dangerous and scares me what some ppl could be thinking while looking at them). My point is, I do not desire to be a parent nor envy those that have chosen to be parents, with all the decision making and choices about the welfare and wellbeing of a helpless child. Maybe I’m a huge pussy who can’t handle it. But raising a child, to me, is too much of a burden on myself as well as imposes too much onto others around me.
Post # 208
Im continually surprised at how many people really haven’t seem breastfeeding before! I’m guessing that is a huge part of why they are so uncomfortable. I grew up seeing my mom, family friends, my aunts, etc nurse. As an adult I see my friends and my friend’s sisters breastfeed their babies. It’s no big deal so when I rarely see it in public and even realize what’s happening (because most of the time it looks like the woman is just holding the baby) it is really is not a problem for me.
Post # 209
I give zero shits if a woman is wearing something that covers herself and the baby (like those shawl things they sell everywhere).
However, that does not mean I want some sanctimonious mommy whipping a breast out in public. It is very easy and convenient to not offend anyone by covering up, so why be a jackass and flash people? It’s like they feel it’s their right since the baby has to eat. Yes, the baby does need to eat but that doesn’t mean you don’t need to practice common courtesy.
Some people say not to look if you don’t want to see. A. What if it catches you by surprise? B. If “not looking” was a good rule of thumb, there wouldn’t be indecent exposure laws. C. It’s really friggin’ easy to avoid flashing people when feeding your baby.
Post # 210
- Wedding: Either Philadelphia City Hall or a small chapel.
I’ve never seen somebody breastfeed in public, but, it wouldn’t bother me. I personally would use a cover when the time comes. I’m still childless for the time being.