(Closed) Breastfeeding is NOT EASY and it's ok if you decide you don't want to do it

posted 4 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 2
Member
1472 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

I’m really glad you posted this. My mother unfortunately never produced enough to feed me so she had to give me formula but i still turned out fine. I’m pretty sure she said my aunt also nursed me a  few times when she would babysit bc she produced so much when my cousin (who is only a month older than me) was born. To me thats one of the biggest acts of generosity and love and I love my aunt even more for it.  

I hate when people make women feel bad about not breatfeeding. Some women are just more comfortable with pumps or formula. Regardless, people who are so “pro-BF” shouldnt make other women feel guilty or bad if they dont. Yes breast milk is the best kind of milk for your baby, but for a lot of women, it isnt a option. Lets let women make their own choices… 

Post # 3
Member
3092 posts
Sugar bee

I gave up after 2 days. I dont even think I produced milk. My breasts didnt change in pregnancy and there wasnt even a hint of more fullness. My baby sucked and sucked and sucked and I couldnt deal so I did formula with the first and then automatically with my second.  Of course breast is best but formula imo is a damn close second.

Post # 4
Member
9812 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

Sorry you had it so rough! There is NOTHING wrong with using formula. There really are positives and negatives to both and it’s really about which set fit your lifestyle and relationship better (for whatever reason/s)

That being said, I felt I had the opposite experience. Like all I ever heard about was how painful and hard breastfeeding was. So I was really prepared that it might not work out. But I had the opposite experience. Zero pain. No cracked or bleeding nipples. Nothing. Worked fantastic from day one. So it’s really not always a horror story. But I think what helps is I have like the opposite of flat nipples, they’re great for breastfeeding lol. But I also have friends who struggled at first mostly due to flat nipples and needed nipple shields until their baby was big enough to latch without them.  I just like to offer hope to pregnant women that pain is not everyone’s experience although it is somewhat common the first few weeks.

I agree with you on pumping. My only struggle was with pumping when I returned to work. I hated my pump provided by insurance (ameda) so I was struggling with it. I knew something wasn’t right because I had the milk there it just wasn’t removing it and I had hard time getting letdowns. I paid out of pocket to replace it and that turned everything around. When I see people say “oh, just pump!” etc it makes me want to punch them. It’s not that simple.

My mom EBF me and she did Boyfriend or Best Friend my twin brothers but had to supplement some and my Mother-In-Law Boyfriend or Best Friend all her kids as well (all of us were in the 80s) so I’ve always had supportive people around thankfully.  I’ve only had some negative remarks from a few acquaintances.

Post # 5
Member
1472 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

I think a lot of women love to “breast feed shame” other women if they choose not to. Its really uneccesary IMO. 

Post # 8
Member
9812 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

IheartNYC:  I just got a Medela PISA.  Although now the spectra is also very popular and often cheaper (I had never heard of it when I bought mine).  I think those are the go-to’s for anyone getting a pump.  I am in some pumping groups and most people hate their ameda’s!  It just doesn’t work as well.

Post # 10
Member
9812 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

IheartNYC:  Yes, that is what insurance sent me- the ameda   My little diaphragm things always got stuck in the “sucked-in” position (even brand new ones) and that reduced the suction every time it happened.  I was so frustrated popping the caps off to fix them every 30 sec that I wanted to throw it across the room.  I was a little weary of spending $200 when i thought maybe the issue was me but it turns out it was the pump after all since once I got the medela I had no issues pumping!  Just using the ameda at work for 3 weeks reduced my supply some so I had to build it back up with my medela.

Post # 12
Member
214 posts
Helper bee

milabeehappy:  I have to admit I cringed when you used the word “unfortunately” to describe having been fed formula.  I’m pretty sure any child of the 1980s who had a working mother was fed formula at some point because breast pumps just basically were awful (hand expression isn’t really conducive to a full time working mom).  They may have been breastfed at night and in the morning but in all likelihood they (me included) were primarily fed by formula and we all turned out fine.

kes18:  I also had a good experience with breastfeeding because as a LC pointed out I have “graspable nipples” which are easy for a newborn to nurse from.  But even when I started nursing my first I had formula on hand and was ready and willing to give my baby what I needed to feed him.  

IheartNYC:  Absolutely do what’s right for you both physically and mentally.  BFing is not as natural as people make it out to be and not all babies or women are physically able to do it (low milk supply, tongue ties, etc)

Post # 13
Member
1472 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

sailgrl18:  I said unfortunately because she didnt produce milk…i said later she fed be formula and i turned out fine. 

I re-read my comment i realized i had unfortunately in there twice. I edited now..

Post # 14
Member
1234 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Yeah I’m semi-crunchy and I was so excited to breastfeed my first baby (and just assummed I’d be able to, no problem). It was horrible. Baby had a great latch but I had a terrible supply (I found out then that my mother had not been able to produce ANY milk whatsoever for any of her 3 children). My son was losing weight weeks after birth and I began pumping every 1.5 hours all day and would only get 4 oz total from both breasts combined. I was so upset reading online about how there was “no such thing as low supply- just breastfeed more!”  —– totally not true! I tried EVERYTHING, oatmeal, fennugreek, I was even on a prescription medication that was supposed to increase my supply and nothing worked.

When I finally switched completely to formula I felt guilty but I also felt such a feeling of relief and that a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders.

Post # 15
Member
5916 posts
Bee Keeper

I breast fed my kids but my sister wasn’t able to & I can’t believe the assumptions and judgmental attitudes she had to deal with. Like new parents aren’t overwhelmed enough without this unnecesary stress heaped on them. Breast fed or bottle fed, what’s important is that the baby is loved. 

The topic ‘Breastfeeding is NOT EASY and it's ok if you decide you don't want to do it’ is closed to new replies.

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