- 8 years ago
- Wedding: October 2010
One of my closest friends just bailed on being a bridal attendant 2 months before my wedding and I’m really hurt by it. She’s known about the wedding and agreed to be in the wedding party 9 months ago. I completely understand that the wedding is in another state and that travel and hotel, etc. for this sort of thing can be expensive, but she’s waited until now to start saving money even though she’s known about it and been committed to it for a while. Other friends who are far more rocky financial situations have worked and saved and made it work. She’s always been flaky about stuff – birthday parties, college get-togethers, lunch plans….so I kind of expected it might happen, but I really thought that since this was somthing so important and special that she wouldn’t flake out like this. I mean, this isn’t just another lunch date. I’m upset she’s spent the past 9 months telling me how excited she is and how she’ll be there for me and can’t wait to be there and all this other crap, only to not send in her rsvp and then send an email saying she doesn’t think she can afford it and probably should have told me this a while ago. I told all my bridal attendants to wear an LBD of their choice, so it’s not like she had to purchase a dress or anything. All she had to do was show up and stand beside me. I just wanted my friends there with me on that day. I’ve already purchased bridal attendant gifts and stuff too. I’m just hurt that a close friend, someone you are supposed to be able to count on, would do something like this 2 months out when she’s known for a while.
She sent me an email to tell me all of this. I haven’t replied because I don’t know what to say. I don’t want to email back and say “its okay” because, really, it isn’t. It was hurtful and that’s not how friends treat each other. I would never treat a friend this way. I’m very dissapointed and sad so I don’t want to sugar coat it. But I’m also too big of a weenie to email back and say “actually, I’m really hurt by your decision and I think that lying about your situation and commiting to something you couldn’t follow through on was disrespectful” So I just haven’t responded because I don’t know what to say. I am extremely grateful for my friends who are attending and I’m really trying not to let this get me down because I know that in the grand scheme of things, this is a small issue. But I’m still bummed. How would you respond?