(Closed) Bridal Blues: Feeling let down by MOH and BM

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 4
5662 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m so sorry your bridal party is so unsupportive! πŸ™ they really do make such a difference in the entire experience. It sounds to me like you’ve been very understanding and nt demanded or asked for much at all. I don’t think you’re asking for too much by having them have a girls day with you. This would really make me upset, obviously their priorities lie elsewhere. I’m not sure how to handle but wanted to say I think that totally sucks of them!

Post # 5
1094 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I don’t think so (expecting too much that is)  Most people realize that along with the honor of being a MoH or Bridesmaid or Best Man, there’s a bit of a cost with it.  Also, you gave them a years notice? So they really have no excuse about the nails thing.  And I don’t even know what to say about them taking credit for the shower. That’s just crazy. ~_~

Saying that, it is verrrrrrry common for brides to go through this kind of thing. I can’t even count how many threads I’ve read on WB that talk about this very topic.  πŸ™  I don’t know what goes on in these girls heads when they say yes to the honor and then complain about it non stop, but i wouldn’t let it get in the way of your friendship.  If you’ve talked to them about how important this is, and can they scroung up the pennies etc and they still say no, you could offer to pay half and see if they’re willing? I know you’re already paying for a whole wedding and everything, but it might be the only way to get that fun mani/pedi day. 

One peice of advice i cannot stress enough is to not mention to them all the gifts you’ve given/will give them.  Gifts should be given without strings and bringing that up never ends well.

Try talking to them again and hopefully they’ll realize how important this is to you!

Reading this back, i see i’m not all that helpful! Sorry! 


Post # 8
3121 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@Bride2Be929:  Would you feel comfortable talking to them?  Literally say everything you’ve said here and just ask THEM if you’re expecting too much…maybe it will make them realize how shitty they’ve been.

You have EVERY right to feel let down.  They are being ridiculous!

Post # 9
272 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I’d be really upset too. You seem very kind and considerate and it’s really irritating when people can’t treat you as well as you treat them.

Post # 10
176 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I’m so sorry they’re treating you this way πŸ™ I feel like a lot of brides find out who their true “ride or die” friends are around wedding time…I’ve already knocked one “friend” off my own list and my wedding isn’t until the end of the year! 

As you noted, these ladies can afford the mani/pedi day. I say go and get a mani/pedi on your own…throw in a facial or a massage while you’re at it with the money you would have spent on them…and read a good book! Or bring your mom…she obviously cares a lot.  If they can’t save $40 – $50 for a simple spa day they had advance notice of, I would be too upset to even go with them. Do not offer to pay. You have been more than kind and considerate already. That’s just what I would do of course πŸ™‚ 

::hugs:: I hope things work out! 

Post # 14
333 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Awww first I send you hugs from Maryland. I’m so sorry that a couple of girls aren’t helping to make you feel special leading up to your big day. You’re not alone at all. I think I may have a post pretty similar to yours when I was having one of those days. You’ve been very considerate during this time instead of being a bridezilla. I wish you could just talk to the girls or maybe just your Maid/Matron of Honor to let them know that you’re not feeling any love or support from them. Hey your mom could even pass this on to your girls. I think my mom stepped in as well to handle my shower when she felt my girls weren’t getting it done.

I understand where you’re coming from when you just want your childhood friend/ family to be happy/ excited for your big day. Hang in there. Your big day is coming and it will be amazing. Everyone will fall in line and hopefully it’ll make you forget about all the silliness that occurred before hand. 

Post # 15
4478 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Sorry about all this.  It sounds like you’ve been wonderful and considerate the whole time, and they’ve been acting selfishly.  Their lying about the shower money says worlds about them.  By the way, your cousin who wants to fund your bachelorette party sounds lovely.  I think occasions like weddings are good times to know who the people who really love you are.

Post # 16
399 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Wow not too long ago I had put a thread out there about my Maid/Matron of Honor not helping at all and all I got were insults and how ungrateful I was and it wasnt their job to do anything but show up at the wedding and I felt horrible after all the posts. But I see here everyone is so supportive to you. I understand how you feel. You should talk to them and letthem know how you feel and how they were wrong if they did offer to help and let them know also how wrong they were for taking credit on your shower. My Maid/Matron of Honor wasnt even with me on my wedding day at my house with all the other BMs. I met up with her at the church and i felt like crying. But you know what it was my day to have fun and not worry about her. Trust me as much hurt you might feel dont let it drag you down. πŸ™‚

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