Post # 1
I’m wondering if any of you have felt this way…and what you did about it.
My bridal shower is tomorrow, and I’m starting to feel really guilty about the amount my bridesmaids must be spending. Obviously I have no idea how much it is (I just know the time and place), but they are basically hosting a brunch at a fancy hotel, and I found out today there’s an open bar. There are probably around 15 people coming to this shower….but this has to be super expensive! I have no idea how much they make but I’m worried they are over-extending themselves. They have also planned a very nice bachelorette party for a few weeks from now…
I am off-setting costs as much as I can (paying for hair and make-up, they chose their shoes and jewelry). They also live locally, so that helps some. I am just worried that they are trying to so hard to make it the nicest ever that they are spending waaay too much!
Post # 3
I was worried about this as well, so I was upfront with my maids that I wanted a simple and minimally expensive shower and bachelorette- no fancy venues, no overnight hotel stays, no spas, etc.
So my shower was at my MOH’s mom’s house with just cold salads and sandwishes and my bachelorette was a bar with martinis and manicures ($10 got you the cocktail and the mani) and then dinner at a very reasonable restaurant and dessert at a cool chocolate place that was also really reasonable.
It’s too late for the shower, but if you are genuinely concerned, then state clearly that you don’t want them to throw an expensive bachelorette party.
Post # 4
I totatlly read the post as "Bridal Quilt"! LOL, like I was going to say, I’ve been to a reception where guests wrote on quilt squares, sounds good.
Anyway, yeah, what can you do about the shower? And maybe they aren’t spending as much as you think. Maybe someone got a discount through a contact or work or whatever. Or maybe they wanted to put a little something extra into it, because of the costs you are covering for them. Thank them with some nice hostess gifts.
Post # 5
I am curious how your shower went!!
I think it is natural to feel a little "spoiled" around your shower/bachelorette/wedding. Remember that your friends and family love you and are trying to honor you and embrace it! As long as you have not made crazy demands on them for specific venues, meals, etc., than I would not worry about it too much.
If you do feel uncomfortable by the amount spent on you at your shower, I would have a chat with your Maid/Matron of Honor before your bachelorette (if you haven’t had one already) to let them know that it is not how much they spend on you, but the fact that you will all be together, that makes the event special!
Post # 6
Tanya – when I saw the link, it did look like bridal quilt. A good idea for a shower, but not really what happened.
Well, Erindesmar, the shower was really lovely. I found out later there was an issue with the payment at the end, but my mom came in and was able to give them some money toward the cost (she was feeling guilty, too!). Also, I asked them to just have me pay my share for the bachelorette party (they had been planning on all chipping in for me). Doesn’t help A LOT with what they’re spending, but at least I don’t have to feel badly that they’re spending on me.
Post # 7
Wow — what sweet friends to really try and make you feel as special as possible, and what a sweet bride to be sensitive to her friends! I’m glad you had a great time and that any snags were smoothed over.