- 7 years ago
- Wedding: October 2010
i should have written this blog a while back..but only been married a few months now and the whole experience is still so fresh to me like it happened yesterday….where do I begin…..
is it weird for a bride to have cold feet??
as my husband and I were preparing for our marraige, the Catholic church has this whole requirements that you have to go through….in one of our sessions with the priest, he went over the whole sphill about the catholic marriage…Christ being the center of the family….how the couple is now ONE….one separate individuals..but ONE being….I walked out of the meeting, feeling overwhelmed…..does being a Catholic wife mean I have to lose myself as a person??? being married in my mid-thiries…I have been so used to living my own life…making my own decision…doing my own thing…..wallking out of that meeting with our priest..I got the sense that I no longer exist..instead, there is there new being..my husband and me..as one
though the idea seem exciting…I can’t help but to feel reservations about loosing my own identity….do I completely cease to exist? I understand there is always compromise in a marriage….but to loose yourself as a being seem so archaic to me….needless to say, I walked out, feeling destain…unsure if this is what I really wanted…..the funny part it….my husband is not even Catholic and he may not subscribe to these idaels……and I’m the one who insist on having a CAtholic ceremony…..would I fail as a Catholic wife if I insist in on my independence?? would my marriage fail??? these thoughts loomed over me as we walked out of our Catholic preparation course….I felt so unsure…in fact, I thought…maybe this wasn’t for me….bec I wanted to keep my own identity….my independence…
until my husband told me that it doesn’t matter what the church says….it only matters what he and I are willing to do to keep the marriage…..and he and I are both independent people….he knows my independence means a lot to me…..don’t get me wrong….by independence..I do’nt mean..I can go out there and hook up with anybody else……I only mean…keeping my sense of being…me..as an individual….not me as a Mrs.