Post # 1
I was in a destination wedding a couple of years ago as a Maid/Matron of Honor and it was the first time I was a part of a wedding since I was a flower girl or junior bridesmaids in my cousins’ weddings as a kid. I had to pay for 100% of the costs (travel, accomodations, dress, hair and make up, jewelry, purse, etc) and just assumed that “it’s just how it’s done.”
So, I was wondering if that really is “just how it’s done.”
Also, if you didn’t have a destination wedding, would your responses be different?
Post # 3
I made them pay for everything.
Got cut off – I chose cheaper dresses and they didn’t HAVE to get hair/makeup done.
Post # 4
I paid for hair and make up and offered to help anyone buy a dress and shoes. I only had to help one maid buy her dress.
Post # 5
They are paying for it all, but I didn’t specify shoes or accessories and hair and makeup are optional.
Post # 6
they paid for it all, however the only mandatory thing was the dress. and i strongly advised flat shoes for the beach. but if they really didnt want to get new shoes, they had the option to go barefoot. also, hair and makeup was optional, i wish i could have paid for it, but just had absolitely no extra money 🙁
it was also their choice to come at all or even accept to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man. 2 of my BMs didnt come.
Post # 7
oh, i did buy jewelry for them to wear (necklace, earring and bracelet sets).
Post # 8
Thanks ladies! I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t being too out of the ordinary if that were the case.
Post # 9
I’m covering flights & makeup for my bridesmaids… they’re covering their own hotel, dress, shoes, accessories, hair. I’ll probably buy jewelry if I can find anything I really like, otherwise, I’ll just tell them to wear something they already own that matches. If I end up with any extra money I may throw in a hair stylist, but it’s not looking likely right now.. LoL.
Post # 10
@suhseal: I’m paying for hair and make up for my girls as well as their flights, but that will be their gift for being in the wedding and I factored it into our budget [which we hope to keep under $15,000]. I am looking for group rates so that accomodations are affordable for them and obviously, they pay for their dress.
Post # 11
My bridesmaids will pay their own travele expenses, pay for their dresses (though I tried to keep cost in mind and chose David’s Bridal dresses), their shoes (my only input is color), they can wear whatever jewelry they’d like so they don’t necessarily have to buy new.
I’m sort of paying for part of the accomodations – we’ve reserved the penthouse for me and the girls to stay in Friday and for Fiance and I to stay in Saturday after the wedding, so that covers accomodations for one night except for my married Maid/Matron of Honor whose husband will have to stay somewhere anyways! I’m also paying for hair and makeup for everyone.
I’m trying to do what I can to keep their costs down because I’ve been in so many weddings myself!
Post # 12
My bridesmaids are paying for everything (travel expenses, dress, etc) themselves, though I made it very clear that I understood if they couldn’t make it due to the expense, and nothing was mandatory except for the dress. I do think asking someone to be a bridesmaid puts more pressure on them to attend the wedding, but I think the bride also understands that not everyone can swing it financially and has to be ok with that. While I would love to be able to help them financially, it’s just not possible for me.
Post # 13
I am paying for their dress but other than that they are paying for flight and hotel
Post # 14
My girls are paying for everything themselves. However, I’m not picking out a dress for them to wear. I have 7 bridesmaid dresses in my closet that I paid a significant amount of money for, and I will never touch any of them again. Sooooo, I’ve just asked them to wear a solid black dress they like. That way they can get something they like, that they can wear again, and that flatters their body styles. They can go as cheap or as expensive as they want with the dress.
Oh, and my FH and I are going to provide several meals for them while they are here (I live in Haiti, so my family and friends are coming here for the wedding).
Post # 15
They paid for everything themselves….BUT their dresses were not expensive and I let them choose everthing else (shoes, jewelry, whether or not they wanted to get their hair done, etc)