(Closed) Bridal Party Difficulties

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Who Should I Have in the Wedding?
    just cousin MOH : (5 votes)
    21 %
    cousin MOH and junior bridesmaid lil cousin : (12 votes)
    50 %
    all 3 (cousin MOH, junior bridesmaid lil cousin, and cousin K as a bridesmaid) : (7 votes)
    29 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    182 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    I guess it really depends on how involved you do or don’t want your BMs to be. I was a junior Bridesmaid or Best Man once when I was eleven, and I was a bridesmaid in my brother’s wedding when I was in about eighth grade. Both times I didn’t really do anything besides the rehearsal dinner, be at the wedding, get my hair done, just day-of stuff. Granted, my brother got married in New York, and I live in Nebraska, but still. I would say to just include everyone, even though you’re not as close with your cousin. You don’t have to have all the BMs involved with every aspect of the wedding; your Maid/Matron of Honor can involve them in your bridal shower, etc. if she wants to.

    Are you worried about how your cousin will act at your wedding or anything like that?

    Post # 5
    Member
    553 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    @samschene221:  Do you think it would really cause any drama at all? If you aren’t close to her, she might not actually care the least bit. She’ll probably be glad to come to your wedding, enjoy being a guest, and enjoy the drinks and food. Also, since she apparently lives the fast paced lifestyle, which I assume simply means she likes to go out with friends and stay busy, she might not be interested in all the bridesmaid activities, and then you’ll end up here on the board wondering if you should demote her because she’s not 100% on board. You know what I mean? I voted to have your Maid/Matron of Honor and the junior Bridesmaid or Best Man cousins since it sounds like you are really excited about it!

    Post # 7
    Member
    9552 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I’d not invite K and tell her you just want to keep the bridal party small. Not a good idea to invite people that you don’t really want.

    Post # 9
    Member
    182 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    @samschene221:  Honestly, I know my family would understand (I have five girl cousins) but it really depends on your family’s dynamics. I also have 13 boy cousins, so they keep the drama to a minimum, and my family is pretty spread out. I feel like if your family knows and loves you, then they will respect that it is yours and your FI’s day, not theirs.

    Post # 10
    Member
    553 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    oh yes, oh yes, it definitely changes my opinion. Yea, that’s a stickier situation, I can definitely see the dilemma now.

    Hmm…what to do….?

    I think I’m going to have to change my answer to the “have all 3 of them”. But, I really really hope she doesn’t flake out on you, that’s the only thing I worry about. But, at least her mom is rather involved (to your own dismay perhaps), and might be good back up for you should your cousin get distracted when you need her. I’d definitely keep the expectations low for her, just so you’re not disappointed or frustrated come wedding day. I’m assuming she’s just a bit younger than you, putting her around 20-21, and I know at that age I was pretty preoccupied with myself and my life.

    And as for the 8 others, nah, don’t worry about it…they’ll be fine. I wasn’t in my cousin’s planned wedding (she ended up doing a Justice of the Peace thing), and I’m fairly close to her-close enough to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man, but wasn’t offended that I wasn’t asked. I was just plain happy for her. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    5479 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    Honestly, if your wedding isn’t until 2014, I’d wait to select anyone… you will find through the planning process that some people naturally step up to help and others naturally cause drama. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    322 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I think the minor drama chance from not asking would be much less than the potential of having her as a Bridesmaid or Best Man. Do you want to stress about her when dress shopping, planning things, etc or having her show up drink/on drugs. Do what you want and if people make drama, just ignore it. 

    The topic ‘Bridal Party Difficulties’ is closed to new replies.

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