(Closed) Bridal Party Dilemma-Highly stressed and confused right now :(

posted 10 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
1565 posts
Bumble bee

This is a textbook example of why you’re not supposed to pick your bridal party early 🙂

You have plenty of time, and it sounds like a lot will change in the months leading up to your wedding. Don’t make any decisions now. If people ask, just tell them you are still figuring out wedding details and the size of the bridal party. Meanwhile, see who seems to be reliable and supportive as you begin your planning, who is truly interested in the wedding, etc.

Post # 4
18628 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I agree that you should wait and not tell anyone yet.  You could probably wait until closer to the end of the year to make the decision and by that time, you should know who will be supportive and trustworthy for your wedding.

Post # 5
799 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2020

Definatley do not pick your bridal party yet. You have  a year and a half just sit back and see what happens. Pick your bridal party about 8-9 mos before your wedding, then you will have no regrets. You don’t have to tell them anything yet just say you are waiting to see how the wedding is going to look

Post # 7
20 posts
  • Wedding: July 2011

I agree with MissAsB.  You still have so much time…..  if your mutual friends do end up getting married, then ask them.  If they don’t are you not asking them since you feel it will be awkward for them?  If they don’t get married, you should talk with each separately, or choose only one to be in the wedding. 

I ‘m not getting married until 7/1/11, and I have asked all of mine already – but I only asked one of my FI’s sisters.  The other is doing a reading.  Perhaps you could ask the other mutual friend to do a reading. 

When it comes down to it – it’s YOUR wedding, and you shouldn’t be worried about anyone else’s opinion when it comes to your party.  Pick who you think deserves to stand up for you!

Hope this helps! 

Post # 8
345 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I agree with the others…you need to wait and maybe things will be more clear.

another good piece of advice – NEVER do ANYTHING in your wedding out of obligation because, well….it’s YOUR wedding =)

i personally wouldn’t put an unreliable/bad friend in my wedding party

Post # 9
173 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

People are sometimes surprisingly happy to not be in your wedding.  I say this as a perpetual bridesmaid.  The first couple of times it’s exciting as heck.  Then it becomes a very expensive nice time.  Take your time in deciding and don’t worry about whether someone else thinks that they should be in your wedding.  You are actually the smartest most knowledgeable person regarding who should be your bridesmaids – don’t forget that.

Post # 10
491 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

well i think you should consider who will realistically be in your life in the future too.  the unreliable friend sounds like she’s pretty self-centered and is now trying to butter you up not because she cares about you but because she has some self-fulfilling desire to be a bridesmaid.  she’s trying to bribe you with gifts??  that’s so silly.  trust your instincts… if you’re having doubts, it’s for a reason.  and who knows, her selfish behavior could easily spill into your wedding plans and she might screw you over somehow in regards to that… NOT good.  if you and the other girl already talked about being in each others wedding, then chose her!  and def choose the grooms sister, i did and i’m not particularly close to her but will be 🙂  it’s a good chance for bonding.  i agree with the other girls, take your time, and don’t worry about others being mad or offended… it’s not their place to feel that way anyway.  i’m lucky it was easy to pick my party: my sister, closest cousin, 2 best friends from high school, best friend from college, and grooms sis.  i’ve had them all chosen for years.  

Post # 12
7898 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

I would not choose the disloyal friend.  But I would consider the Future Sister-In-Law.  But you have lots of time to decide.

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