(Closed) Bridal Party drama ruined my family (VENT)

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
429 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I’m sorry.  But you are not alone.  A lot of brides have found that weddings bring the worst out in some people.  I lost a “friend” from my childhood.  May not have my sister there.  But it is still the day you married the man of your dreams, so think it’s a great day anyway. 

Post # 4
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Just want to send *hugs* and love your way. This is the happiest day of your life and you deserve to be loved and supported. I hope that you have/can find a way to move past all this negativity so you and your Fiance can enjoy the beginning of your life together. And I hope that your aunt realizes how childish she has been and gives you the real apology you deserve.

Post # 5
Member
6212 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

This whole situation really sucks, and you were definitely not in the wrong by not having your cousin in your wedding. I have cousins I see all the time, and they’re not in my wedding. Sometimes people get weird as they get older, or they stop trying to be pleasant. The same thing happened in my family, though not over a wedding. It sucks that you were so close to her and now she’s doing this to you, but I would honestly write her off. There’s nothing to save and she is who she is now, not who she used to be.

Post # 6
Member
3155 posts
Sugar bee

Sometimes people get so caught up in perceived slights and what they think you should be doing for your wedding that they end up going slightly crazy. Try not to dwell on this and think about what wonderful family members you do have that defend and champion you! Lean on them and let the others slide (they sound aweful anyway).

Post # 7
Member
2961 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I really don’t know what to say except I am really sad this happened to you. Thank goodness you do have family that love and cherish you!

Post # 8
Member
9205 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

What a psycho!  I’d invite her to the wedding, if only to try to limit any permanent damage to the family and to be the bigger person, but limit any other involvement.  You’re lucky your dad and other family are on your side in all of this.  So sorry!

PS, date twin! Smile

Post # 9
Member
944 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

You need to get over this somehow and concentrate on your wedding and Fiance, you two will be a family, and do not invite your aunt/cousin to your wedding – do you really want two people there who aren’t happy for you?   “Hugs”

Post # 10
Member
1734 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Something is wrong with your CA aunt. The reactions that she had to this whole event weren’t based in reality…at least, in your reality. All I can think of is that there MUST be some piece of family history going on here that you maybe aren’t aware of — something having to do with weddings, sisters, “family” — maybe the estranged aunt whose family you haven’t seen in 15 years? — there HAS to be a piece of the picture that you don’t have here to make someone who was formerly so close to you FLIP HER SHIT over this.

 

Post # 11
Member
2494 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

My husband became estranged from his dad due to drama like yours. Unfortunately some people are just ‘that way’. While I do hope she calls, I also hope you find a way to heal yourself.

Post # 12
Member
60 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I am so sorry that you and your family are going through this horrible situation.  I hope that your family can come together and support you on your special day…

Post # 13
Member
3771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo

I’m so sorry you had to deal with your aunt’s ridiculous drama — I read through your whole post with my jaw dropped!  I’m really glad that you chose a new dress (one not chosen out of stress), and I think are you going to very happy that you are no longer obligated to have your cousin in your wedding party and that your spaz aunt decided not to come during her tantrum.  It’s so great that your dad and your other aunt have stood so solidly by you; I don’t think your wedding has caused this drama, I think your aunt was just waiting for an excuse to flip out and it would have happened anyway.

Post # 14
Member
538 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I am so sorry this is happening to you. Your aunt sounds like a manipulative person, and she was indeed VERY childish in saying those things to you (and so was her daughter). You handled everything in a graceful way, and I am so happy to hear that your Dad and other aunt see how terribly your aunt and cousin are behaving. Hugs to you, you are the bigger and better person!

Post # 16
Member
1239 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@lovelove1028:  wowosas, what she did and said to you was horrible.  She sounds like she is unbalanced, maybe her daughter is giving her real grief and she was jealous/upset at how happy your family is/ while planning your wedding.  I dont really have much advice as you seem to have handled it very well and there is nothing else you can really do…

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