(Closed) Bridal Party FSIL drama

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Should we ask FI's 2 sisters to be in the Bridal party?
    no : (13 votes)
    93 %
    yes; add both FSIL as groomswomen : (0 votes)
    yes; add both FSIL as bridesmaids : (0 votes)
    yes; but just add SIL in Qstn. to bridal party : (1 votes)
    7 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    858 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    Don’t add them or her. You don’t want it and your Fiance doesn’t want it. Yes, weddings are about family too, but I think if it really screws up the dynamic because you both would have a large number of family to add, and you just aren’t comfortable with that, then definitely don’t do it.

    You can always give them another job, personal attendant day of? Or just list them in the program as honorary bridesmaids?

    Post # 5
    Member
    1941 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    Honestly, it sounds like at this point, you’d only be adding them to appease his mother, and his sisters would know as much.  I’d rather not be asked to be a bridesmaid than only be asked after I pretty much demanded it (or my mother demanded it on my behalf). It sounds like his sisters are completely rational about it and totally understand that you want your friends in the Bridal Party. I’d try to find other ways to include them, maybe ask them to help you get ready the morning of, or have a girl’s day to get your nails done the day of the rehearsal or something. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    216 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    We went through the SAME thing.  It’s so frustrating when others get involved, and this was the ONLY thing Future Mother-In-Law got involved with so far..she wrote emails about having Future Sister-In-Law in the party and was getting really upset.  Basically, as much as we didn’t want to just give in, she is paying a lot and had some points, so we are having Future Sister-In-Law in the party….do what you gotta do! If it works and is easy enough to add her in, do it..If you still feel you don’t want that, then don’t.  It’s your wedding and you should have who YOU want standing up there with you.

    Post # 9
    Member
    338 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    Yeah my FI’s mom got VERY upset when I asked whether FI’s sister would be offended if I didn’t ask her to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man and to just do a reading.  I asked Fiance and he thought she might be offended, then decided well she probably wouldn’t, but to ask his mom because she’d know best since he’s not super close with his sister (sounds like your situation, they talk every so often but they’re not super close but they’re not distant either).  I should have known better than to ask Future Mother-In-Law though, of course she’s going to want her daughter in the Wedding Party… she made me feel terrible for even contemplating not asking FI’s sister.  FI wasn’t going to include any of my 3 brothers, so I felt kind of slighted.. like I HAD to have his sister according to his mom, but she didn’t think it was necessary to ask any of my brothers to be groomsmen.  For us, it was only adding 2 additional people to the Wedding Party (he added 1 of my bros and I added his sis), but I still think we should have been able to pick our Wedding Party without that input.

    You’re already planning on including them in other ways, so I don’t see it being a problem, especially since they don’t feel slighted by it.  I agree with PPs.. I dont know that they’d really appreciate being asked now, just because their mom thinks you should.  I’m sure they are more than happy to have the parts you’re planning on giving them.  I say keep your Wedding Party the number it’s at.. especially if your Future Mother-In-Law has been rude to you & your mom.. if  the sisters don’t care, I wouldn’t give the Future Mother-In-Law the satisfaction of getting what SHE wants even if its not what YOU/FI/SISTERS want!

    Post # 10
    Member
    1371 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    @lkr736: I would not add them.  You’ve already decided to have them involved in other capacities, and they don’t seem to care about being IN the bridal party.  It sounds like Future Mother-In-Law is just overly traditional, and SHE is offended that they’re not in the party.  Your fiance needs to tell her that he’s asked both of them, and they said they are not offended and don’t care.  Then she can’t (or shouldn’t) complain.  I totally sympathize with you, my Mother-In-Law is crazy!

    Post # 12
    Member
    295 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    Are you having any readings or something else during the wedding that they can do, and in a way have a specialrole in the wedding?  It’s hard tomake these decisions but I will tell you this, it is your day, don’t do things to please other that in the end will cause u heartache and regret.  In the end, you will be stuck withh ill memories and everyone else will have forgotten.

    The topic ‘Bridal Party FSIL drama’ is closed to new replies.

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