- 4 years ago
So I have a dilemma with our bridal party. We are planning a very small, 35 person wedding for next march. I have a life long best friend that I would love to have as a maid of honor, as well as two other ladies who I adore that I would love to have as bridesmaids. The problem is with FI’s friends. He has a brother who he is very close to, and 3 friends from his childhood (lets call them A, B and C). They are all great guys and I like them all. The deal with the friends is that they don’t see each other very often and when they do see each other, my FI is always the one who initiates the get togethers. I think the last time we saw any of them was in January?? He is closest with A, but A has been known to flake out and disappear for weeks/months at a time. ( Case in point, invited him to a cookout last weekend, said he was coming, texted 2 hrs before asking to bring stuff, and then never showed. No call or anything) B works a lot and we havent seen since October, mostly because of his work schedule, but he never calls FI to hang out even when he is available. And C is engaged, and since becoming engaged has fallen off of the earth :). My FI is also a little put off by him because he asked him to be a groomsman last year(when he first got engaged) and then “ungroomsmanned” him to replace him with his fiance’s cousin’s bf (whom he is not close to, his fiance just wanted her cousin and the bf to be together). FI gets that things change in wedding planning but was a little offended.
So, if you made it through this novel, we are not sure what we should do for groomsman. He isn’t sure he wants to ask any of his friends to be in the bridal party because of the lack of interest in spending time together, the flakiness, and the ungroomsmanning. He obviously would have his brother, and was going to ask A at the barbecue (that he never showed up at :/, now not sure if a good idea, what if he flakes before the wedding??) I want a bridal party and don’t care if they are uneven but think it would look bad on FI part if he just had a best man and I had 3 ladies (almost like he didn’t have friends). So I guess just looking for ideas if anyone else was ever in a similar situation?? I just don’t want to make FI feel bad about the friend situation which he is already kind of bummed about.
Thanks for reading!!
ETA: I have not officially asked my ladies yet. I am kinda waiting until we know what he is doing in case we end up with no bridal party or just BM and MOH. I want one because my Bridesmaids are super important to me and I think would be hurt if they weren’t a part of the wedding.