Post # 1
So I feel lost..
my older sister is the maid of honor to my wedding and she is horrible at it. when looking at dresses for me or going to wedding shows my sister would never give much feedback and would always just look at dresses she’d like for her wedding some day. When ever I ask her about anything she comes back with a snotty remark or just doesnt get back to me at all. I know subconsiously she’s jealous because I’m getting married before her and shes hit a dry spell with money so I know she’s scared about that but can’t she be suportive at all!! I mean shes my sister for god sake.
then I have 3 bridesmaids and they all started off supportive and came to appointments with me and all that but now I’m down to only 1 person I feel is genuinly excited and wants to keep hearing about wedding plans and participate with all that. I even had one friend who almost didnt stay in my wedding because she started having some life problems which I understand but then keeps giving my a hard time about everything.. she even was the last one to get her dress because she kept coming up with every excuse under the sun not to go.I have planned this whole wedding by myself mostly with the opinions every now and then of my fiance, but i just feel like my wedding party should be more into it then they really are..
Is anyone else having issues with anyone in their bridal party? I feel so upset and stuck.. 🙁
Post # 3
It isn’t their job to help you plan, etc unless oif they want to. Make sure you talk to them about things that are ?NWR and support them through their troubles. They are your friends and not everything in their lives end because you are getting married.
I’m having a very short planning time, so I haven’t had enough time to drive anyone crazy yet, but I still try to keep my mouth shut on wedding stuff unless someone else brings it up first, and to stay interested in my girls lives. I have not had any planning help from my BMs, other than dress shopping for all of our dresses (1 day).
Post # 4
Ignoring the situation with your sister, I think it’s pretty normal for the bridal party to lose interest after a while. It’s not their wedding, after all, and there’s only so many times you can watch someone else try on wedding dresses, check out venues, debate colour schemes, and help someone DIY centrepieces before you start getting really bored.
Maybe try catching up with each friend individually for something non-wedding related that ties in with what you guys used to do together before you got engaged. You might go see a movie with one bridesmaids, have a cup of coffee with another, go for a walk …anything you can do together where you won’t be discussing anything wedding-related.
As for your sister, well, if she’s jealous, then that’s something she’s going to have to deal with herself – maybe, again, try some non-wedding-related activities with her to try and connect as sisters again, rather than bride and Maid/Matron of Honor.
Post # 5
I’m not saying its their job but thought theyd be more into it, i think I would be if they were getting married. and I do do nonwedding related stuff with them as well, oh well I guess..
Post # 6
I had issues with a bridesmaids recently and last Monday when I got back in town (was planning the wedding in a nother town) I was done with dealing with her. She started off excited and willing to help with my appts and what not showed up to everything, but once she started dating a new man she changed and all of a sudden she couldnt make anything and she isnt sure she could get the dress in time or get to the wedding at all, It was alot of excuses with no reasons. I called her up asked to meet her to talk about everything and when we met up she ended up bring the new guy she is dating and no joke laughed in my face at my concerns. So that was the last straw I told her I didnt want her in the wedding any longer as a bridesmaid or a guest. Its been ugly since then, Ive cut her out completely.
I understand the upset and stuck feeling, The only people helping me with the wedding is my parents with all their ideas(and there is alot, lol) and an occasional opinion for my Fiance. Honestly I like the minimal opinions and help, cuz when we first got engaged opinions were coming outta the wood work, now that its tapered off It seems to be alittle easier.
Just take a breath let everyones elses drama and jealousy go, and enjoy the wedding process. I do agree with LadyElva maybe you and your sister go out for lunch something non wedding related and just reconnect with each other on a sister to sister level 🙂
Post # 7
yea we do hang out outside of work, but she still cant come to terms about the wedding I guess. Yea the same thing happened with one of my bridesmaids almost told her forget it but right now i’m just playing it by ear, she used to be there for me and very helpful but now is very nonexistant. so sucky
Post # 8
I think that there are a lot of bees struggling with this though – I even started a thread about it not too long ago that you can find here, check out the poll!
In the end, your bridesmaids have their own lives to worry about as well, maybe just try to go on a complete wedding shut down and spend time with them like you used to before you got engaged – surely you found plenty of things to talk about then! I did this the other day with one of my BMs, I didn’t talk to her for weeks and was a bit pissed off that she never bothered to check in to see how the wedding planning went. But then I sat down to talk to her and we chatted about the problems she currently has, our hopes for the future and little things like enjoying some sunshine after months of rain or trying out an awesome new recipe. The word wedding didn’t come up once – while that’s not helpful for the planning at least it made me feel like I have my friend back!
Post # 9
@hornergirle: I’d make sure they know you are really wanting input and feed back. other wise they might not know, because it’s YOUR day to plan.