(Closed) Bridal Party Lodging NIght of Wedding

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Should I pay
    Of course not : (70 votes)
    96 %
    Uhmm yeah, it's only right : (3 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1237 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I don’t think you’re wrong. Most of our bridal party is from out of town but we’re not paying for their hotel rooms at all and I’ve never had the bride or groom pay for my room when I’ve been in a wedding either. I told the girls that if they want to stay at my house the night before, they’re welcome to but after that they’ll need to arrange for their own stay.

    Post # 5
    Member
    437 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    @HisWifey2012:  I agree with you! We’re having a destination wedding in Vermont where literally NO one lives. All our guests, including bridal party, have to stay for the weekend. Our rehearsal is also on a Thursday with the wedding on Saturday. I’m paying for hair to be done and giving them each a pair of Toms and a pashmina for their gifts. I know it’s tough for everyone to travel but we’re adults so I think they can manage. Good luck- I hope it all works out!

    Post # 6
    Member
    121 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    Yeah whenever me or SO have been in a wedding or had to travel to a wedding we always provided our own lodging and travel.  I dont think youre out of line…

    Post # 7
    Member
    187 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I used to be that the bride or groom supplied lodging for their out of town bridal party.  That usually meant bridesmaids stayed with the bride’s family or friends.  Back when I was a bridesmaid I remember staying at the homes of the bride’s aunt for one wedding.  Another, where my husband was a groom man, he and I and another grooms man and his wife were put up in a cottage type place, where we had two bedrooms and one large bathroom.

    Today I don’t know that held up as etiquette.  

    Could the Maid/Matron of Honor leave after the wedding and make it home?  Or will she have to stay somewhere nearby that night?

    Post # 8
    Member
    4416 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    @charmed59:  I was also aware of this old bit of etiquette, so I made sure our bridal party had a place to sleep the nights before and after the wedding …. BUT, that “a place to sleep” was basically just one large loft at my parents’ house, with everyone camped out on air mattresses and sleeping bags. They were all fine with it, but if anyone wanted any privacy or an actual bed, they’d have had to pay for their own hotel rooms!

    OP, I think maybe it would be nice for you to find somewhere for your Maid/Matron of Honor to stay so at least you can claim to have “taken care of” her lodging, even if it’s completely free. But you certainly aren’t obligated to pay for her hotel room!

    Post # 9
    Member
    155 posts
    Blushing bee

    I wouldn’t expect to have my hotel room for the night of the wedding (or after the rehersal for that matter) covered.

    If she’s really concerned about the cost perhaps there’s a relative she can stay with?

    Post # 10
    Member
    570 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    90% of our bridal party and about half of our guests will be traveling for our wedding… they’ve known since the venue was booked ONE YEAR before the wedding, if they can’t afford to attend then we will miss them. Your wedding party ESPECIALLY should understand that they will need to budget for these things. That’s outrageous, I’ve never heard of that at all.

    Post # 11
    Member
    2216 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    No way!  You are absolutely right!  I think you’re being generous in paying for your bridal party to spend the night before in a hotel.  Most of FI’s groomsmen and 1 of my bridesmaids are from out of town, and we’re not paying for their rooms at all; no one said anything.

    Post # 12
    Member
    134 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    We had three BMs from out of town. They each got thier own hotel rooms, paid for by themselves for the night OF the wedding. The night before the wedding, my Matron and Maid of honors actually sprung for B&B rooms for themselves, the 3 out-of-towners and myself. You are not wrong for not getting them an extra night, but as PPs have said, I would attempt to find her somewhere to stay, so you can at least say you tried.

    PS. If she she travelling with family (SO, kids, ect.) – then she have planned to pay for the hotel room herself. In my opinion.

     

    ETA: *she should have

    Post # 13
    Member
    3357 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I think you’re being beyond generous. most weddings reserve a block of rooms at a hotel for their Out of Town guests but they don’t pay for that. The guests do.

    Post # 14
    Member
    6248 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 1900

    You are already paying for them to stay the night before the wedding… something you didn’t have to do.  She needs to pay for her own room and board after the wedding.

    Post # 15
    Member
    963 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    She sounds very ungrateful. It’s unusual and very generous for the bride to pay for any of the lodging at all.

    Post # 16
    Member
    1663 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    It’s super generous for you to pay for everyone to stay the night before the wedding!  I would never expect for anyone else to pay for any of my lodging.  I think she is being ridiculous.

    The topic ‘Bridal Party Lodging NIght of Wedding’ is closed to new replies.

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