Post # 1
I’m having a destination wedding in August and I’d told my bridesmaids that I wanted everything to be VERY low key because I realized guests were already being so kind by even paying to attend. I said I didn’t need a bridal shower of any sort and that I didn’t want gifts. Well, today…my wonderful bridesmaids threw me a surprise (small, intimate) shower! It was lovely and we all had high tea.
It was just my 3 bridesmaids, my mom, and 2 cousins. My sister made the invite list and thought she would just invite my closest family members but the mother of the 2 cousins (my Auntie) wasn’t invited. My sister was keeping to just the “younger generation” (plus my mom).
Well, my cousins handed me a card and there was $100.00 inside! It was from the cousins AND my auntie. I feel terrible that she wasn’t invited but still gave me a gift. How can I appropriately thank her? Should I give HER a little gift as a way to say thank you? Just a card? An explanation…?
Please help – I feel so bad!
Post # 3
@mscuppycake: I would send a thank you and say how fun of a surprise it was because if she knows you didnt plan it then she will understand. I think if she was offended she wouldn’t have sent the check along with your cousin so just syaing something nice about how you cant wait to catch up with her and thanking her is fine!
Post # 4
@mscuppycake: It is perfectly acceptable to just send a thank you card. You didn’t plan the list so you shouldn’t feel bad!!
Post # 5
Etiquette Snob here… lol
You need not feel guilty (but I understand that you do, and WHY)
When it comes to any party… the Host is the one that sets the Guest List.
Your Hosts, decided that this would be a small intimate Shower with people of your age group, and your Mom.
Hence WHY your 2 Cousins were there… and not your Aunt.
As the Cousins are Daughters of your Aunt she heard about the Shower, and decided that she’d add her name to the Card (and probably money to the gift from “Her Girls”)
You send a Thank You Note to each Adult individually… including your Aunt.
You don’t have to apologize for her not being included… as she’ll know how this all works, and that you weren’t the Host / make the Guest List
Just be gracious and thank her for thinking of you.
Hope this helps,
Post # 6
I agree that you should send a card saying it was a nice surprise. You weren’t expecting a bridal shower, and it was really thoughtful of her to think of you, and you hope to see her soon.
Post # 7
I would send them each a thank you card. I like the idea of saying it was a surprise.
Post # 8
@mscuppycake: I would just send a thank you note. returning gifts with gifts could go on forever! They obviously wanted to contribute, and I think an appreciative thank you note or phone call is a nice gesture in return. Or invite your aunt over for tea if you’d like.
Post # 9
I would sent her a thank you for the thoughtful gift without addressing her absense. Most adult women understand that the bride does not plan the shower. Getting too into an explanation might just create an uncomfortable situation.