Post # 1
I have another question….
My brother and my sister in law are in our bridal party and thier oldest girl as a Flower Girl. My brother asked me to please invite her parents to take the (3) children home, and they would pay for both dinners. Well, I got the rsvp card back today and the parents aren’t coming. And they still intend to bring all the children. (which is ok)
I was wondering how long you feel the bridal party should remain at the reception?
I had always thought the entire time, unless they have something come up or a child at home is sick. Remaining at the reception is part of the duties of being part of the party. (As it was expected the same of me when I was in his wedding w/my son)…
Where do you draw the line as far as acceptable and rude?
Post # 3
Have they said they plan to leave early? And maybe the parents aren’t coming but will be picking the kids up after the reception or at some point during the night. Or maybe they will all stay the whole time, I had 4 flower girls 2 were 3 and 2 were 5. They danced until the very last minute and the reception ended at 12.
Post # 4
They should stay at least through the cake cutting, which IMO is the unofficial point at which it’s not impolite for any guests to leave without a good reason (relieve the babysitter, long drive home, etc.).
Post # 5
You may not even notice they are gone, you will be so busy with your husband. If their kids start to get tired and fussy, do you really want them to stay? I say if they stay for a majority of it, and they have a good time, duty is over. Did they say you had to stay the whole time when you had your son? Did they say they were going to leave early?
Post # 6
I don’t think there’s a time requirement for the wedding party to stay. They’ve shown up, looked pretty, done their thing for you, that’s all that’s really required. My BMs left a little early and I’m not going to lie, it bummed me out a bit. BUT it didn’t stop me from having tons of fun. They did stay and dance for a while, but our wedding was an hour from the city and a couple of them had to be up in the morning early for charity work, so I couldn’t get too upset about it.
Another wedding I was a Bridesmaid or Best Man in, another one of the BMs (there were only 3 of us) left right after dinner because she doesn’t really dance. I thought that was pretty rude, but she had done a string of things to tick me off, so I think it was the icing on the cake for me.
Post # 7
One of our GMs left right after cocktail hour. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little mifted about it. He and his date didn’t even eat…
Post # 8
Did they tell you they were going to have to leave early? Maybe the parents are just going to pick the children up from the reception, but just plan not to attend. I would talk to your bridal party members about the situation.
Post # 9
We are cutting the cake before dinner so it can be served after dinner.
No, I wouldn’t want them to stay if the children are acting up.. Which is common for one of them.
Ranting….. sorry…..I guess I would be hurt mostly. We never get to see them because they are always “busy”. We always have to change our schedules for them. My Grandma doesn’t even get invited out for the children’s bdays. But her entire family is always welcome. My brother was always around before the marriage and our side is very hurt by everything that has occured since. Long story I won’t go into it….
She isn’t riding in the limo, because she wants her girl in a car seat.. (it’s less then a mile ride). I told her to bring the booster seat and put it in limo. She won’t do it. So, I asked her if the Flower Girl could ride with my Dad and she said no, she will just drive her. She’s not going to be with us for hair and makeup, she is going to meet us out there for pictures. Then drive herself. It’s like she doesn’t want to be with us more then she has to. I don’t get it. There is always one right? lol
I guess I would be ok as long as they stayed for the Bridal Party dances and Bridal Party stuff.. Just seems like it would be more stressful to have them there (I hate to say it..)
Post # 10
@AngieM30: aww, yea that stinks that she isn’t making more of an effort to be there during the day. I have seen that before. Where the husband does more with the wife’s family than his own. I can understand your frustration with that. Maybe it would be a good time to talk with your brother, see if you can get together more often! Especially since they have kids and life tends to be a little more hectic and busy! Maybe you can plan some playdates if your kids are close in age
Post # 11
I had all of my bridal party stay the whole time, because they all had to help clean up afterward.
Post # 12
Yeah, talking doesn’t work..Everyone has something about it.. They have been married for 6 years. Many different standards for the sides of the family. Just sad..
I just hope they stay for most of it.. I was really close with my brother until he got married. Hope he stands his ground is all, (if he wants to stay).
Post # 13
@AngieM30: It sounds like she’s just going to do it her way, for whatever reasons. Try to just let it go and get your pics done as soon as possible, so it won’t be obvious someone is missing.
Be as gracious as possible, and any rude or inappropriate behavior will be all on her.
ps~ I am so sorry the family drama is spilling over into your wedding… I know from first hand experience it just breaks your heart. Everything went well for us in the end, but it was different type of behavior. Your wedding isn’t the time to heal this with your brother, as much as you might want to. If he leaves early, it will become something that gets healed in the months and years ahead as you find a way to keep your brother in your life and manage his wife… prepare yourself to have a beautiful day no matter what and don’t let this be the thing that makes or breaks it. My best to you!
Post # 14
I think it depends on how long the reception is. But I think after the cake cutting is ok to say they can leave.
Post # 15
Yucky situation to be in. Sorry you have to go through it. 🙁
Growing up and with my daughter it was kind of a right of passage to get to stay up all night at the wedding. On top of that my daughter fell asleep at a couple and we pushed chairs together for her and she slept while we danced.
Maybe mention this to your brother before your wedding that you want them to be there the whole time and that you are worried they won’t since her parents RSVP no.
Post # 16
I kinda ranted on my fiance about it.. He’s frustrated too as he sees what is going on. Maybe I’m making a big deal about nothing… I hope everything works out in the end.
I just have to tell myself that I’m going to have a good time no matter what, if they leave early they are the ones missing out. 🙂