(Closed) Bridal Party not staying for all of reception

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
5670 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

Have they said they plan to leave early? And maybe the parents aren’t coming but will be picking the kids up after the reception or at some point during the night. Or maybe they will all stay the whole time, I had 4 flower girls 2 were 3 and 2 were 5. They danced until the very last minute and the reception ended at 12.

Post # 4
Member
2775 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

They should stay at least through the cake cutting, which IMO is the unofficial point at which it’s not impolite for any guests to leave without a good reason (relieve the babysitter, long drive home, etc.).

Post # 5
Member
1231 posts
Bumble bee

You may not even notice they are gone, you will be so busy with your husband. If their kids start to get tired and fussy, do you really want them to stay? I say if they stay for a majority of it, and they have a good time, duty is over. Did they say you had to stay the whole time when you had your son? Did they say they were going to leave early?

Post # 6
Member
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

I don’t think there’s a time requirement for the wedding party to stay. They’ve shown up, looked pretty, done their thing for you, that’s all that’s really required. My BMs left a little early and I’m not going to lie, it bummed me out a bit. BUT it didn’t stop me from having tons of fun. They did stay and dance for a while, but our wedding was an hour from the city and a couple of them had to be up in the morning early for charity work, so I couldn’t get too upset about it.

Another wedding I was a Bridesmaid or Best Man in, another one of the BMs (there were only 3 of us) left right after dinner because she doesn’t really dance. I thought that was pretty rude, but she had done a string of things to tick me off, so I think it was the icing on the cake for me.

 

Post # 7
Member
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

One of our GMs left right after cocktail hour. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little mifted about it. He and his date didn’t even eat…

Post # 8
Member
5110 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

Did they tell you they were going to have to leave early? Maybe the parents are just going to pick the children up from the reception, but just plan not to attend. I would talk to your bridal party members about the situation.

Post # 10
Member
1231 posts
Bumble bee

@AngieM30: aww, yea that stinks that she isn’t making more of an effort to be there during the day. I have seen that before. Where the husband does more with the wife’s family than his own. I can understand your frustration with that. Maybe it would be a good time to talk with your brother, see if you can get together more often! Especially since they have kids and life tends to be a little more hectic and busy!  Maybe you can plan some playdates if your kids are close in age

Post # 11
Member
785 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I had all of my bridal party stay the whole time, because they all had to help clean up afterward.

Post # 13
Member
3368 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

@AngieM30:  It sounds like she’s just going to do it her way, for whatever reasons.  Try to just let it go and get your pics done as soon as possible, so it won’t be obvious someone is missing. 

Be as gracious as possible, and any rude or inappropriate behavior will be all on her.

ps~ I am so sorry the family drama is spilling over into your wedding… I know from first hand experience it just breaks your heart.  Everything went well for us in the end, but it was different type of behavior.  Your wedding isn’t the time to heal this with your brother, as much as you might want to.  If he leaves early, it will become something that gets healed in the months and years ahead as you find a way to keep your brother in your life and manage his wife… prepare yourself to have a beautiful day no matter what and don’t let this be the thing that makes or breaks it.  My best to you!

Post # 14
Member
2815 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I think it depends on how long the reception is.  But I think after the cake cutting is ok to say they can leave.

Post # 15
Member
2192 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Yucky situation to be in.  Sorry you have to go through it. 🙁

Growing up and with my daughter it was kind of a right of passage to get to stay up all night at the wedding.  On top of that my daughter fell asleep at a couple and we pushed chairs together for her and she slept while we danced. 

Maybe mention this to your brother before your wedding that you want them to be there the whole time and that you are worried they won’t since her parents RSVP no. 

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