(Closed) bridal party offended by communicating via text???

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
8682 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Personally I hate text/email. I think it is lazy and impersonal. It can kind of make your friendship seem more like a business transaction. The only time I think it is ok when wanting to communicate important things (like wedding stuff) is when there is a major time zone difference in play.

Sounds like your Bridesmaid or Best Man & Groomsmen feel the same way.

Post # 4
9954 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Sounds like a case of them feeling that this is being too “impersonal” (I can see tho where it is efficient from your perspective)

From their point of view, I’m guessing that they see a Wedding as a BIG DEAL… and their being chosen to be in it a BIG DEAL to them… so they are wondering WHY it isn’t a bigger deal to you in that you’d want to be all chatty about it with them in real life (phone vs write)

After all it isn’t just a case of a quick text that says…

“Hey, how are you… want to go for drinks after work “…

It is texting about events that are truly life-changing.

My best advice have a heart-to-heart… to hear what they truly are feeling / thinking (afterall if they are in your Wedding Party we assume you all are close).  Explain WHY you choose to send texts … as it is efficient in regards to letting everyone know the info at once… works when time is limited / precious

BUT also explain you can (are) following up with a phone call.  Even if they quick text you back with…

“Got the text… talk to you on the phone later, will be home tonight aftere 7 PM”

Then I think both sides of the equation would be happy.

But that is just my take… and at 50+ I live in a world where I’ve come to realize that it takes two sides of the equation to make things work.  You guys have to be honest enough with each other to talk it thru… and both be willing to make some changes if need be (them replying… you being understanding of what they may want from you in regard to their feelings)

Hope this helps,

That is the good news.

Bad News… maybe they are feeling bombarded by your texts.  Are you a Bride who doesn’t realize that the person who is going to be MOST excited by this Wedding is you ?  IF you are too focussed on it… to the point that it is the ONLY THING you seem to talk about, interested in, over-sharing etc… then that can wear on other people’s nerves… and rather than offend you, they’ll just tune you out (and that could explain the delayed replies)


Post # 5
1134 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

i do group emails for my girls all the time! probally too often! lol. but i like it cuz then everyone can share their opinions and everyone knows how everyone feels, and its an easy way for me to get ahold of everyone at once, and not have to repeat myself 4 times!! I do not see anything wrong with email/texting wedding info.

Post # 6
8695 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

I speak to my bridesmaids mostly via text and none of them care but I guess everybody is different. You are going to have to make an effort to call them or speak to them in person. 

Post # 7
268 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I always group email or group text my girls. That way, everyone gets all the information at the same time.

Also, I’m in a wedding where the bride does everything through a secret facebook group. I’ve never been offended by that.

I’m pretty sure Fiance was asked to be in a wedding via email. And he wasn’t offended one bit!

So, that was a long way of saying that I think its totally fine to email or text information 🙂

Post # 8
1966 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Been in a few weddings the communication is usually through txt its easier to talk to everyone at once. And send pics etc. Don’t see the big deal. This is how I talk to my bms. 

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