Post # 1
Member
3 posts
Wannabee
So I want to thank you all before hand for your help.
I got engaged about 3 years ago but I only recently asked one of my best friends to be my Maid of Honor since the wedding isn’t until next year. Maybe about 7 months ago. Well she said yes and was super excited about it. Then all of a sudden she stopped talking to me. Come to find out she’s been having problems with her husband and just some personal problems as well. I didn’t hear from her for 6 months. I have already replaced her with my other best friend but now she’s talking about being in the wedding. I wouldn’t mind having her in the wedding, just not as the maid of honor. I don’t know what to say to her. My best friend that I’ve asked to be my maid of honor now, has been amazing and it wouldn’t be fair to her to ask her to step back down. Please help! 🙁
Post # 3
Member
10568 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
You shouldn’t have had someone else step in without at least talking to your friend first. You have a Maid of Honour, your old friend is married and she can be your Matron of Honour.
Post # 5
Member
5965 posts
Bee Keeper
Oops…looks like you’ve got some explaining to do, if it were me, I’d show up with a bottle of wine and a box of red velvet cupcakes and eat through this uncomfortable conversation!
Post # 6
Member
2781 posts
Sugar bee
@AB Bride: Agreed!
@shatari19: You can’t rescind her invite to be maid of honour, sorry, thats rude and no friendship would survive that. Also, you never should have filled the position without letting her know in the first place.
Post # 7
Member
3574 posts
Sugar bee
Did you ever try to contact her during those six months? I think you have to include her as Maid/Matron of Honor, and maybe even ask the other girl to be a regular Bridesmaid or Best Man
Post # 8
Member
3 posts
Wannabee
@MrsTVLover: I tried many times to contact her. I even asked her if she was still gonna be my maid of honor, and she never replied. She just recently sent me a message, but hasn’t asked anything about the wedding.
Post # 9
Member
943 posts
Busy bee
How about having two MOHs? Many people do that.
Post # 10
Member
3 posts
Wannabee
@sehrler: But I’ve only got three people, and that’s including the girl that’s not been talking to me. I feel like it would be weird
Post # 11
Member
658 posts
Busy bee
Ouch. I guess I would have spoke to her first before replacing her, but if she was unreachable, then I don’t know what you could have done.
Perhaps talking to her and telling her you understand that she is going through a lot right now and don’t want to add to her stress by requesting for her to carry out the maid of honor duties. So, you could have her still stand in your wedding, if she still wants to and have your new made of honor.
Post # 12
Member
141 posts
Blushing bee
Get together with her IN PERSON and explain what you’ve said here: you’d tried many times to reach her and couldn’t, and out of consideration for the challenges she’s going through, you didn’t want to add to her stress and difficulties and have asked someone else to step into the role.
Coulda, woulda, shoulda but you really should have communicated with her, even if it was an unanswered email or voicemail that you were concerned about her being MIA, you hoped she was ok, but that if you didn’t hear from her by X date you were going to have to make some adjustments to the wedding party and then called her after X date to apologize and let her know that you had no choice but to replace ehr as Maid/Matron of Honor, you hoped she’d understand, and that you really hoped you two could get together soon to visit and offer your support to her whenever she needs it.
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