(Closed) Bridal Party Problems? arghhhhhhhhhh

posted 6 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
7779 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

My first advice? The Best Man as got to go. From there, you might find that a lot of the negativity ends.

Post # 4
Member
45 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@alyssaf2:  Why would you ask someone to be your bridesmaid if she “doesn’t associate with you?”  Also, it’s usually the Maid/Matron of Honor that is in charge of planning bridal showers.  If your other bridesmaids don’t want to help, then that is their choice.  You can’t really dictate how someone throws a party for you.  Just be thankful for what you get.  Try to relax and go with the flow.  It’s easy to get caught up and bogged down in drama, but remember what your wedding is about – you and your FI’s love. 

 

ETA: grammar

Post # 5
Member
1880 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Why did Fiance choose a best man that apparently can’t stand you?  I agree with PP, get rid of the best man and see if that doesn’t help things.  Also, you will see on these boards a lot that your bridesmaids only need to show up sober and dressed in what you’ve picked out on the day of the wedding.  They are not obligated to throw you showers, parties or otherwise spend time or money on you.  I, personally, think this is absolutely ridiculous as most reasonable people know what it takes to be in a bridal party (i.e. – time to do stupid wedding errands, money to buy wedding attire/gifts for B&G/any parties you plan on throwing, etc.).  However, that being said, nowhere does it state that these are things your bridal party HAS to do in order to stand up with you.  Good luck!

Post # 7
Member
245 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I agree with all of the previous posters.  Why does your Fiance have a best man that is standing up for him at YOUR wedding that doesn’t allow his wife to associate with you.  Your Fiance needs to pick someone who supports his relationship.

Post # 8
Member
45 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@alyssaf2:  Well regardless of WHY she doesn’t associate with you, she still doesn’t.  I just don’t understand why you’d want someone like that in your bridal party.  It sounds like your Fiance needs to have a chat with his best man though.  Maybe there are some underlying issues here.  And your bridal party may not realize that your mom and Maid/Matron of Honor need help with the shower yet.  Your wedding is in October, right?  My wedding is in November and I don’t think my Maid/Matron of Honor will start planning shower stuff until the summer.    

Post # 10
Member
45 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I think your expectations might be too high for your bridesmaids.  Like I said, I think March is VERY early to start planning a bridal shower for an October wedding.  If you’re feeling disappointed in them though, have a chat.  It’s best to be open with your bridesmaids.  After all, they should be your best friends.  I bet none of them are aware that you think they’re falling down on their duties.  Just take them out for drinks and tell them what you’re feeling.  They should understand.

Post # 11
Member
1880 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@alyssaf2:  If this is a new development, I suggest you ask your Fiance to talk to this guy and get to the bottom of his disdain for you.  It would not be healthy for YOU to have someone standing in YOUR wedding that doesn’t like you.

As for the bridesmaids thing, I TOTALLY get you.  I agree that they have to do more than just stand there in the dress you picked out, HOWEVER, good luck getting other Bees on here to agree with you.  It is repeated on here a MILLION times that we can’t expect more from our bridesmaids other than just to get there on time the day of the wedding, clean and sober wearing the dress you picked.  Just do a search and see for yourself.  That being said, I do agree that there is more to being a bridesmaid than that but that’s for you to discuss with your girls.  You said you already did that when you asked them so I would just gently remind them that you could use a little more help or support from them.  Be specific with what you want or need from them.

Post # 12
Member
818 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I agree with what VegasSukie said. Have your Fiance talk to this guy and get to the bottom of why he has so much disdain for you. And gently remind your girls that your mom and Maid/Matron of Honor need some help. Good luck!  

The topic ‘Bridal Party Problems? arghhhhhhhhhh’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors