- 4 years ago
- Wedding: May 2015
Hello fellow Weddingbees!
Bear with me, this is my first post and I’m going to attempt to make it as coherent as possible. I apologize for the length of the post as well.
I’m having some trouble with selecting my bridal party. Here’s the rundown of necessary details: I have 4 siblings, 2 older brothers and 2 younger sisters. My fiance has 2 siblings, one brother one sister. I have only one truly close, close friend beyond my siblings but he has two or three that he considers “best” friends.
I’ve already asked the older of my younger sisters to be my Maid/Matron of Honor, I’ve asked my other sister and my best friend to be bridesmaids. I had intended to ask my fiance’s sister to be a bridesmaid as well so as it stands, my bridal party is 4 people.
However, my oldest brother is one of the most important people in the world to me–I mean beyond best-friend important. He and I have both been through a lot and he has been a constant support. I want to ask him to be a part of my wedding and making him simply an usher just doesn’t seem to be enough. I don’t want my fiance to feel obligated to include my brother(s), even though he likes my brothers a lot, so I’m looking at including my oldest brother as an addition to my party as a “Man of Distinction” (essentially 2nd MOH).
However, this leaves us with lopsided parties (not such a huge deal) but more importantly, it leaves out my second brother. My second brother and I are still close, but no where near as close as my oldest brother and I. In addition, brother #2 is in the military and I don’t even know if he will be able to come to my wedding (currently he’s in Afghanistan and when state-side, he is constantly moving arouond and gets very little leave).
Would it be inappropriate to ask brother #2 to be an usher–does that seem like an insult when the rest of the siblings (on both sides) are in the bridal party? To me, it does–and I don’t want to hurt brother #2s feelings–we really do get along very well.
Would it be totally selfish to ask my fiance to include his sister on HIS side and then ask brother #2 to be in my party as well?? I want his sister in the wedding–but don’t want to exclude my brothers either. This would mean my fiance would have 3 guys and 1 girl on his side and I would have 3girls and 2 boys on my side–I was thinking my oldest brother could walk my mom and stepmom down the aisle (one on either side–both mom and stepmom are cool with one another and we’ve had several gatherings over the years due to the mixed families, so I don’t think that would be an issue)… Does anyone have any better suggestions??