(Closed) Bridal party selection stress! Opinions needed.

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Who should I choose for my bridal party?
    Choose your three old friends and go over your max. : (1 votes)
    13 %
    Choose the new friend. : (6 votes)
    75 %
    Choose only one of the old friends. : (1 votes)
    13 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    491 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    If I got mad at every best friend I had from my hometown, getting married and me not being in their wedding — I would constantly be mad at someone.

    One of my best friends, since we were like 2, we’ll call her Mrs. C, is just an amazing person. I moved away when we were 12 — but we stayed in touch and I always visited and we always wrote and called, etc. As we got older, our interests changed and we changed, but we always stayed in touch, just not as much as usual. She lives in KY (where I used to live). A year ago, her and her FH got married in FL (where I live now), about 4 hours away — and I didn’t even get an invitation to a beach wedding.

    Some of my best friends now, aside from my Maid/Matron of Honor — are co-workers that have become like sisters to me. I wouldn’t dare think of replacing them with “best” friends from many moons ago.

    Things change and people change. If they’re truly your friends, they’ll support your decision to ask your FH groomsmen girlfriend.

    GOod Luck!

    Post # 5
    Member
    199 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Ask who you want and everyone else will have to deal. After all, it’s YOUR wedding.

    I’m having a slightly different problem with the bridal party selection… one of my BEST friends in the world is a guy. Seriously, he’s like a brother to me (and he’s gay so there’s no sexual tension/nothing to make Fiance nervous haha). And I want him to be a bridesmaid. NOT a groomsman because I want him involved in all the planning and parties that come with being a bridesmaid and I want him up there on MY side the day of the wedding, plus he’s not very close to Fiance anyway… So our bridal party might look a little mismatched, but people (my judgemental aunts in particular) will just have to deal!

    As it stands right now, my bridal party looks like this:

    Maid/Matron of Honor: My sister, who is also my bff (that was a no-brainer!)

    Maids: 1 friend i’ve known since elementary school, my best guy friend who I met in high school, 1 friend from freshman year/all through college, 1 friend I met abroad my junior year, and 1 friend from grad school who I’ve just gotten really close to in the last year.

    So I’ll be mixing it up between old friends and new. There might be some miffed high school friends, but I know for sure that these are all of the people I want up there with me!

    Post # 6
    Member
    3049 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: January 1991

    If I were you, I would choose as many (or as less) girls that you want. Your bridal parties don’t have to match up on each side. As far as the old friends… I think it’s wrong for them to threaten you (or get mad) if they’re not BMs, or if not ALL of them are BMs. In this situation I can’t tell you who to pick, because it’s complicated. But in my situation, I chose 2 out of 4 of my really good “old friends”. I’m sure the 2 not picked were upset, but I have family who I would rather have in the wedding. I’m including them in all the bridal fun, like luncheons, rehearsal dinners, etc, but they just can’t be BMs. I don’t think girls should go haywire if they’re not picked, especially if family is involved.

    Post # 7
    Member
    163 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I was having bridal party issues as well! We are having a smaller wedding (100-125 guests) and figured I may only have 3 maids.  My best friend since the age of 13 moved to Mongolia for the Peace Corps and other close friends live across the country.  I’m not very close with my FI’s sister and I know she will be offended if she is not in the wedding party.  My fiance is in the same boat. Lost touch with friends over the years or live far away.  So we decided we are not having any bridesmaids or groomsmen! We are just going to incorporate certain special people into readings and toasts. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    187 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I would pick your current best friend and then delegate responsibilities on the day of for the 3 others that are from out of state (so they still feel special).

    Then if it comes up, tell the 3 friends that your fiance wanted the other girl in it since her husband was walking on his side.

    a little white lie never hurt anyone and it will make peace at the wedding. :o)

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