Post # 1
Fiance and I are almost 100% sure we are not going to have a bridal party! In my culture, bridal parties are not really a thing so I was okay with it from the start. We are both super laid-back, like to keep things simple, and just want everyone to have a good time so we both envisioned not having a bridal party to avoid added stress. I only considered having one because my fiance is American and his family/friends traditionally have bridal parties for weddings so it’s like it was expected. We didn’t want to offend anyone or leave anyone out, so we started planning what it would be like to have one.
If we were to have one, it would be 7 people on each side (total 14). Mine: Sister, best friend, two cousins, three friends. His: 3 brothers, 4 friends. I have a MUCH younger sister, best friend, and two close cousins who I would all love to be my MOH’s as I am equally close to all. However, I would never have more than 2 and if I chose just my sister she may not be able to handle everything on her own because of her age. This complicated things a bit and started the conversation about keeping it simple by having FI’s three brothers and my brother as well as my sister, 2 cousins, and best friend. This still wouldn’t solve the problem of Maid/Matron of Honor and we would be leaving out our other friends. I also have other cousins my age that I am not as close to that would feel left out.
After considering that it would add way more to the wedding planning and be difficult to figure out who to include, we are now firm on having no bridal party. We also really like the idea of standing by ourselves for our ceremony. We think it is the best option for us. My question is how do we break it to our family and friends without offending anyone and still make people feel included (only if they want to). My family and friends should be okay with it because they are aware of the culture and how there aren’t usually bridal parties. We are still going to have a bridal shower (my mom, sister, best friend, and cousins already said they would plan for it) and would like to celebrate with our friends for a bachelor and bachelorette party with no obligation (we don’t mind planning small things to do ourselves). We are more concerned with how to explain it to his family and friends while making it clear that we aren’t doing it to keep people out and whoever wants to be involved, can be. Also, I want to see if anyone else did not have a bridal party and what your experiences were/if you had any regrets! We love taking care of others and want to make sure everyone has the best possible time and truly celebrates with us without worrying about all the details and different aspects of having a traditional bridal party, but not sure if people will see it that way.
Thanks and sorry this was long!!!
Post # 2
It sounds like you are way more into NOT having one. That is fine! Don’t let anyone pressure you into it – it’s your day. 🙂 We decided to have a small bridal party to keep things easy, but if you can’t do that because you’re afraid that certain people might feel left out, then no bridal party is probably the better way to go.
Post # 3
Your wedding, your choice.
You don’t need to explain yourselves or make a big deal out of it… just don”t mention it at all, and if anyone asks you outright just say you’ve decided not to have one.
Post # 4
Our bridal party was just a flower girl and ring bearer. All of our closest friends lived far away, and would have been difficult to coordinate. One of my sisters was very pregnant and Darling Husband and his brother were estranged at the time of our wedding. Not having a bridal party made our lives and the lives of our friends much easier.
One friend did tell me that she was disappointed to not be picked as a bridesmaid but that she totally understood why we didn’t have any. Another friend (my hs bestie and I was her MOH) probably was a little hurt – she kept talking about how her mom thought it was weird that I wasn’t having a bridal party and I suspect she agreed.
But I invited my would be bridal party to get ready with me. I paid for their hair/makeup if they wanted it and gave them fun robes to wear (Not as photo props bc we didn’t do getting ready pics) and we had a great time. And I think overall they did appreciate not having to get dresses and all of that stuff.
Post # 5
There is absolutely nothing wrong with forgoing the bridal party, and I really don’t think anyone will be offended. It’s one thing to feel hurt or left out when someone you’re close with has a bridal party and leaves you out of it. Not having one at all doesn’t seem hurtful to me at all.
Do what you want to do! If anything, those that would have been in your bridal party may end up just relieved they don’t have to take on all the related expenses! lol
My Fiance and I are leaning towards only having a Best Man and a Maid/Matron of Honor (his close friend and my sister-in-law).
Post # 6
- Wedding: July 2018 - Vaughan, ON
My brother and my SIL had a hard time with this as well. It was either none or many; so they compromised. They each picked one special person to stand with them.
I opted for 2 bridesmaids and 2 groomsmen. Simpler the better in my opinion. sometimes with a large party too many opinions clash and it just becomes so much drama. I’ve seen it multiple times. Obviously its also many less people you have to worry about getting organized lol.
Just remember its your and your fiances choice! dont let others talk you into or swaying you from what you want.
Post # 7
Dear OP, I more or less stopped reading after you said you really didn’t want a wedding party and then agreed to have FOURTEEN people stand up with you !!!. This would be vast logistsics and a huge PITA .
Go back to your original plan, none is fine !
If you really feel you have to, just have your sister and he has one brother . As for this ” if I chose just my sister she may not be able to handle everything on her own because of her age.” I am assuming she is very young rather than very old? There is really no ‘everything ‘ for her to handle , bachelorettes and showers and the like aren’t mandatory . Stick to your roriginal laid back simple version ,.
Post # 8
I really wanted to have no bridal party. I think it cuts down on cost and added stress. My sister and my fiancé best friend had their heart set on it so we decided to do just them and my niece and nephew as the flower girl ring bearer.
Post # 9
We did not have a bridal party this time around (second marriage) and it was soooo much less stressful than either of our first weddings with bridal parties. If I had to choose a bridal party, I easily would have had 5-6 attendants, which seemed like overkill, so not having any was the best way to go. Don’t regret it for a moment!
Post # 10
We also opted to not have a bridal party, and are going the unconventional route of walking down the aisle together. We wanted our wedding to be a reflection of us and our relationship and committment to one another and not a financial burden and/or logistical nightmare for everyone involved! Our wedding is coming up in a few weeks and so far we have absolutely no regrets about our decision. Everyone who is close to us understood completely and we didn’t receive any backlash at all. My fiance’s brother planned a bachelor weekend away despite the lack of an “official title” of best man and I had close friends organize small lunch/dinner celebrations for me, and I think we’ve both made it clear to all our people that our decision is in no way a reflection of how much we care about them and appreciate them being a part of our lives. It sounds like you’re comfortable with your decision, hopefully your family and friends will all understand and support you!
Post # 11
- Wedding: April 2017 - City, State
We didn’t have a bridal party. My Darling Husband didn’t have any interest in having one and after being a bridesmaid, I decided the role was completely unnecessary and I didn’t want the stress that can come with it and I am so happy with our decision. I loved the fact that it was just the two of us up there, we didn’t have any extra people to coordinate or organize, and we didn’t have to put out our family and friends with any inconvenient money or time contributions.
If you guys don’t want a bridal party, don’t have one. You won’t miss it.