Post # 1
I’m getting married in October. I have a bridal party of 5.
3 of which, are all friends, and the 4 of us were inseperable as teenagers. We all are still relatively close with each other for having to be over an hour apart and busy school/work schedules. Regardless we always make time for each other.
I have a 4th bridesmaid who is a long time friend, 20 years+, but she can be a handful. Always making backhanded remarks about plans, refers to things as “If I were doing it, I would do it this way” and even told me to keep her away from the wedding gowns when they go to try on bridesmaid dresses….she isn’t engaged yet.
5th bridesmaid, engaged a couple months before me, was super open to talking wedding shortly after I was engaged but suddenly stopped caring about anything I was planning. When I finally set a date and booked a venue, she was the only one of them that wasn’t excited. I confronted her about it and said it was due to the fact that she doesn’t want to talk wedding herself and her own plans, and is focusing on life and school and just gets irritated when people ask her about her wedding plans…weird? She continues to give me the cold shoulder, short responses when I text her…so lost on what is up.
In short, I want this to be just as fun for my maids, as all of them have been friends of mine for 10+ each, and I’m sensing it’s going to be a struggle. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Post # 3
@eraff32: I had this idea in my head when I got engaged that all my closest girl friends would help me plan, we would all try on dresses and laugh and drink champagne, and it would be fun fun fun for 18 months of planning. And in reality, it was not like that at all. There were some fun moments but overall I almost never discussed planning with my girls. They either already had their day or were dreaming of their own day, and couldnt care less what color table cloths I chose. Some days I hated planning so much that I didnt even want to discuss it or think about it.
My point is, your wedding won’t be as fun for your girls as it is for you. It’s your wedding, not theirs. Their life is going on as usual, even though your brain (like mine was) is in wedding mode 24/7. Maybe your 5th Bridesmaid or Best Man is having trouble planning the wedding of her dreams, and isn’t in the mood to celebrate the fact that you booked your venue.
Post # 4
@Bostongrl25: I completely agree with you.
@eraff32: Just stick to your guns. You obviously love your friends and want them to be involved in your wedding planning process, but remember that it is your and your fiance’s day. My advice is to keep everyone (even the two bridesmaids who are giving you gruff) included in the email chains and texts. If your eager bridesmaid who can’t wait to be hitched starts getting even more outrageous, you need to sit her down and have a one-on-one. Explain that her “suggestions” are upsetting you–real talk.