Post # 1
So we have spent hours picking out things at BB&B and Macys for the bridal registry. BUT: we have already lived together for 3 years… In those three years we have purposefully gone without nice (new) towels and cookware etc., so I am looking forward to moving up in the world and out of college-esque life! At the end of the day, what we really need is cash. We are paying for the wedding ourselves, and more than I need a foodmill and set of wine glasses- we would both prefer money in hand to help cover the cost of the wedding. Is there anyway to politely request such? I don’t want to be rude, and will absolutely appreciate any gifts, either housewares or monetary!
I would appreciate any advice! Thank you!
Post # 3
- Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall
I wouldn’t mention it, register for enough to get you through your bridal shower(s) and then for the wedding people will default to cash when there’s nothing left on your registry!
Post # 4
@summmersolstice: the response you’re going to get here is no. There is no polite way to ask for cash. The gift that is given (if one is given) is up to the giver to decide, not for you to suggest.
If you don’t want people buying you “stuff”, my advice is not to register for it. Keep your registry small, items that need to be upgraded, or a few things that you want, but don’t register for stuff just to fill out your registry.
In my experience, we got gifts for the bridal shower, and mostly cash for the wedding. But that’s just my experience. This is very much a regional/cultural thing from what I’ve seen on the boards.
Post # 5
Nope. You’ve just got to register. Hopefully the wedding will be mostly cash gifts.
Post # 6
I don’t think so. You guys should host the wedding you can afford for yourself. I think privately asking parents if they plan to contribute is a better idea if you absolutely have to ask someone. At the end of the day I don’t feel it’s my responsibility as a guest to help pay for any of the weddings I attend, and I end up giving cash as a gift a lot of the time anyways.
Getting some cash as a gift to offset the cost is great, you guys need to budget and plan for what you can afford if you didn’t receive a cent so you don’t put yourself in a hole financially. Also wedding registry tends to have a lot of little gifts that are affordable for people. Now I have a good job and decent salary but previously I rather give just a card rather then giving someone a twenty or forty bucks as a gift. Just because I wasn’t making much and after paying the cost associate with all the wedding stuff it was all I could afford. I felt better spending it on a gift off a registry.
Post # 7
Nope, there’s not a nice way to ask for money. You can have a small registry and have the concept of giving you cash spread via word of mouth, but specifically asking for cash is generally considered inappropriate.
Post # 8
We could probably use some registry-type things, but we’ll have nowhere to put everything in my apartment and we’d prefer cash. We’re thinking of having a small registry and hoping people will give cash when they don’t see many registry options.
Post # 9
No. Word of mouth and a small registry, because some people will want to give a physical gift no matter what.
Post # 10
Thanks for all the help! you guys rock.
Post # 11
@summmersolstice: No, there is no polite way to ask for cash.
Please allow your guests to give you the gift of their choosing. They can find your registry, decide to give cash, choose something on their own or maybe not give anything – but the choice is there’s to make.
Take heart – most guests know that bridal couples always welcome cash. If you want/need the things on your registry, they just sit back and enjoy whatever you receive.
Post # 12
We did a small registry, and a honeymoon registry, and got mostly cash and honeymoon registry gifts. Some folks just are happier to buy you soemthing from a registry, bottom line. 🙂 Word of mouth is fine if you prefer cash…
Post # 13
I would just do a small registry and tell your parents you prefer cash – that way if anyone asks them (aunts, uncles etc… your parents can say you prefer cash but also have a registry). At my wedding we received about 50% gifts, 50% cash… also if you do a small registry, then hopefully after your shower, most of hte things will be bought and people will opt to give cash.
Post # 14
Tell your immediate family & bridal party that if people ask, there’s a small registry, but you’re saving for a downpayment on a house/car/whatever.
Post # 15
I would say that you should keep your registry to a minimum and hint (honestly I wouldn’t straight out tell anyone you want money) that you would love to take any wedding money and use it for whatever it may be (ex, honeymoon or house). Are you from an area that money is a common wedding gift?
Post # 16
I know it is considered wrong to ask for money, but people do it.
One wedding I will be attending, has a “cute” poem on their website:
“Because at first we lived in sin
We’ve got the sheets and a rubbish bin
A gift from you would be swell
But we’d prefer a donation to our Wishing Well”
It goes on to say that basically they want money to buy a house together – without actually saying the word money or cash. I was a bit like….okaaay… when I read it. But then again we plan to give cash anyways, so oh well.
If I were you I would do as previous bees said – keep the registry small and the rest of gifts will come in as cash or gift cards. Most people give cash at a wedding anyways (at least here).
@stargurl101: +1 this definitely!