(Closed) Bridal Shower :-(

posted 6 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
9648 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

that’s horrible, i am sorry you’re going through that 🙁 perhaps have your Fiance talk to them? i am glad your shower was good otherwise though 🙂

Post # 5
Member
519 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’m so sorry you’re upset! One thing I learned while planning my wedding is that hardly anyone knows what proper ettiquette is anymore, so they might not have known they were being rude? I understand the RSVPing and not showing up part – that should be pretty clear for anyone – but they honestly may never have thought they should send a gift. 

Post # 7
Member
9648 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

tbh, i didn’t know you were supposed to send a gift if you can’t make it to an event, until you said. it’s a nice thing to do, but not essential. perhaps for a wedding it is more important, but not necessarily for the bridal shower.

Post # 8
Member
1498 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Not everyone knows or even cares what “proper ettiquette” is anyone. They may have never been taught or they may see it as optioinal. Personally, I would have sent a gift or card at least but I don’t think you should write them off just because they didn’t buy you a gift. No offense, but you’re going to come across as the rude one in that situation…not them.

Post # 10
Member
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Etiquette never says you need to give a gift.  It is a gift.  Gift giving is always optional.

Its great that you and your Fiance paid for their mother’s funeral, but that has no bearing on their giving you gifts.  Ditto you giving gifts to their children.  Some people just don’t give gifts.

Post # 12
Member
635 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I’m sorry that your feelings are hurt. And if you just need to get it out, then here is more appropriate than anywhere else. But no one owes you a shower gift (esp. if they didn’t attend) nor do they owe you a wedding gift when the time comes. If you say anthing about this or don’t invite them because of it, then you’ll be the one looking bad.

Post # 14
Member
9648 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

well hopefully they send a gift soon, since they told you to send a gift for the shower, you can tell them the same thing for yours! but since you sounded surprised about the gift expectation for their shower why do you expect a gift for yours?

Post # 15
Member
408 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’m sorry your feelings are hurt, I know this is bad situation for you. I think though, in this you should just let it go and not let them know it bothered you. If the length of time that they have been unhelpful is burdening you and this just seems to be the straw that broke the camel’s back, perhaps you should have your fiance talk to them. But honestly it doesn’t sound like it would do anything but cause problems. Keep your head high and focus on those who are determined to make your time and day the best!

Post # 16
Member
1199 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@Ms. Gertie:  I see where you are coming from, but I also see some PPs points.  I think as siblings, if they didn’t show, they should still send a gift.  Maybe expecting any non-family member to send a gift is stretching, but family…I think they should.  However, I don’t really think you can say anything to them…I think in the future you can just spend less on gifts for them/their kids or not get them anything, or tell them you don’t have the money to chip in for family events.

The topic ‘Bridal Shower :-(’ is closed to new replies.

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