(Closed) bridal shower

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Is it ok to not open gifts?
    TO Open : (29 votes)
    83 %
    NOT to open : (6 votes)
    17 %
  • Post # 17
    1064 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2009

    I think most people expect you to open gifts at the shower. I tend to put a lot of thought into my gifts and if it wasn’t opened I’d be a little disappointed. It is a little boring to watch someone open gifts, but just move quickly, comment on each one and say thank you to the person who gave it to you, It will go smoothly and not take too much time as long as you have your bridesmaids hand you them and stack them for you.

    Post # 18
    2640 posts
    Sugar bee

    This is kind of a tough one.  On the one hand, I personally find opening gifts to be boring. But on the other hand, that is the point of the event, and opening them is expected.  Also, there might be some people who really do enjoy giving a gift and watching you open int.  Maybe that’s why people give money for an actual wedding.  People don’t open gifts at the actual wedding.  So maybe they think what’s the point in putting a lot of work into it?

    What was your Bm’s reasoning?  If it was how long it takes to open them, I would say have the Bms get more involved in helping you open the gifts.  It won’t take that long if they all roll up their sleeves.

    Post # 19
    3282 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2009

    i’m personally not having a shower, but In My Humble Opinion the bridal showers I have been to…well, the gifts are kind of like the main event.  If you don’t want to do that, it’s fine, it just might seem like something is missing.

    Post # 20
    900 posts
    Busy bee

    I hated doing it at my own shower.  I was actually sweating by the end of it from the process.  I also, as per my mom’ suggestions, acknowleged everyone who gave me a gift and said a little something about them, “This is from my mom’s childhood friend, Sue, who has been like an aunt to me my whole life, etc.” but that got so hard to do when it was people I didn’t know very well.  I don’t drink and I chugged wine after.

    But I think the guests would have been annoyed if I didn’t open them. No one wants to see other people’s gifts being opened, but people want to see their own gift opened.

    Post # 21
    672 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2009

    I HATED opening the gifts at my showers.  It feels so awkward to have everybody sit around watching you.  It was such a nice event for them to throw, and I really appreciated how generous everyone was, but the actual opening?  Not a fan.  I think it’d be okay to skip it, though it never occured to me before that this was an option.

    Post # 22
    5789 posts
    Bee Keeper

    You know,the more I think about this, the more irritated I get. I can’t really imagine someone announcing at a bridal shower that ‘the guest of honor will not be opening gifts today’! I can see the faces of the guests,wondering why in the world there was even a ‘shower’ in the first place. Not only are they shopping for you,but they’re also giving up a part of their day (when I’m sure most would rather be anywhere else but there), and then what? You leave the gifts piled up.people get a bite to eat,and then they leave? I’d be shaking my head and thinking I was in the Twilight Zone. 

    If I felt I was too uncomfortable or embarrassed opening gifts in front of people who LOVE me, I’d have to ask that there not BE one. Why bother?

    And why do the BM’s get to dictate the ‘no gift opening’ anyway?

    Post # 23
    3871 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I never thought of this… and I wonder what my sister and my Maid/Matron of Honor are planning. I don’t think they will even think to consider this.

    I can see why it would be kind of boring to open up all the gifts but some people expect it.

    I just thought of this but you know how you have one of your bridesmaids writing what everyone got you… if you don’t open the gift at your shower…. you might have to open them up yourself and write your own list of what people got you.

    Post # 24
    900 posts
    Busy bee

    I’ll just throw this out there…

    I went to a shower where the invitation said, “Be a dear and wrap in clear.”  The idea was to avoid having to tear open tons and tons of paper.  But in the end, everyone ended up making these ornate gift baskets in clear wrap which had to be opened anyway and then the bride also ended up with 70 baskets in addition to the gifts.

    You could also put on the invitation that you would prefer unwrapped gifts “for environmental reasons.”  This way you would only have to open a card and hold up the gift and say, “This is from Aunt So-and-So!”  Avoids the drama and exhaustion of tearing open package after package.  Make it much faster.

    But if you do that, you still especially have to acknowledge each gift.  Otherwise the request for unwrapped gifts comes off as totally greedy.

    Post # 25
    900 posts
    Busy bee

    Also, the old(er) ladies love seeing the gifts.  It was so funny to hear all the comments and excitement from the old ladies over every little gift.

    Post # 26
    129 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I also am not a fan of opening gifts at the shower–it is kind of boring! I went a great shower this summer though where the guests kept chatting during the gift opening. So when the bride opened a particular person’s gift, that person would pay attention but then she would go back to chatting. It was a nice balance–those who like watching people open gifts were happy and those of us who get bored were able to chat! Plus, all the attention in the room wasn’t solely on the bride! Get some of your bridesmaids to keep the chatter going if you do a gift opening!

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