Post # 1
My mother and my Maid/Matron of Honor are in charge of my bridal shower and they can’t seem to agree an anything.
My Maid/Matron of Honor wants to plan an elaborate Halloween-themed bash, seven months before the wedding. My mother wants a more traditional party to be held in March, two months before the wedding.
Personally, I don’t want to have the shower that far away from the wedding… and I have no idea what to tell them about the theme because I just said to do whatever they want..
My main question is guest list. My mother wants to invite every female that’s invited to the wedding to the shower? Is that typical or can the list be shorter than the females on the wedding list?
Post # 3
Seven months prior sounds like n engagement party. Two months before would be about the time of a bridal shower. Can one throw one and the other the shower? The Halloween party sounds like a blast!
Post # 4
It’s traditional to invite all of the female wedding guests to the shower.
I didn’t do that exactly, because there were some women (the gfs or wives of guy friends that I’ve never met or aren’t close to, and my boss) that I didn’t feel it was appropriate to invite.
Let them each throw you a shower- if the guest lists overlap, just make it clear that you don’t expect them to get you 2 gifts.
However, I do think 7 months in advance is a little much. Due to family pressure I registered before my engagement part- well, 7 months later, I’ve totally revamped my registry and had to return some of the engagement gifts as a result. 7 months in advance is kind of too far- some things will get discontinued, new products will come out, you might change your mind, etc.
Perhaps have your Maid/Matron of Honor throw a "stock the bar" shower or one of those that’s not registry based?
Post # 5
Well we’re having an "engagement" party this summer. It’s just going to consist of our immediate families and our bridal party with their significant others.
I don’t think planning another party for Halloween PLUS the bridal shower will fit into the budget…
But what about the guest list? Should the bridal shower list include every female on the wedding guest list?
Post # 6
My bridal list included every female that is a primary invitee on the wedding guest list. What I mean by that, is if I am inviting a man I know, and he is able to bring a wife or a date, then those women were not invited to the shower. Every other woman was invited to the shower.
Post # 7
We invited all the females within a close radius, as long I knew who they were (or the moms did). We also invited children to the showers but not the wedding, which presented an issue with the first shower because it was held before invites went out. There were even people invited to the shower who weren’t invited to the wedding, but they knew ahead of time.
Post # 8
We did what Candi did (even if they were out of the area and wouldn’t come), except for those women who I work with (weird to have them come to a shower, and I’ll probably have a work shower too). I’m having two showers (a friends one and a family one), but everyone was invited to only one. Maybe you could do this to avoid the budget issues?
Also, does your mom know that mothers/sisters/close relatives of the bride usually don’t throw the shower? Maybe you could let her give this one to the Maid/Matron of Honor, and let her handle an informal engagement party.