(Closed) Bridal Shower

posted 8 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
11515 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

@audrey_lane:  i’m in the same boat.  I want a shower, i won’t deny that.  But I refuse to throw my own.  None of my BMs live here.  Unless a local friend asks if they can plan one, I’m not getting one I guess.

Post # 4
47422 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@audrey_lane:  It is never correct to plan a shower for yourself where you expect people to bring gifts.

Often the bride’s family will host a shower in her hometown, and the groom’s family will host one in theirs.

If someone from Annapolis is asking about a shower, it is an indication that they would be interested in attending. Can you not answer “So far, no one hs indicated that they are hosting a shower.” Maybe they will step up.

Post # 5
956 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

@audrey_lane:  Maybe the next time someone asks if you figured out the shower plans you should respond with “my BMs aren’t able to plan one for me, so at this point, there won’t be one.”

If this person thinks you should have a shower, they will offer to throw one for you.

In my family, the aunts always threw the showers, not the BMs. There is no rule that your shower has to be planned by a bridesmaid, but there is a rule that you cannot throw yourself a shower.

Post # 6
1667 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Just answer that nobody has offered you a shower here and leave it at that. You cannot plan your own shower. Someone will likely step up to the plate if they feel the need.

Post # 7
1475 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Why won’t his family attend if the shower is in Michigan, where your Maid/Matron of Honor is? Where does she want to have it? If she is willing/able to travel, I would have it in PA/NJ somewhere so it will be easier for your fmaily to attend.

Post # 9
1680 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

View original reply
@julies1949:  +1


I can’t imagine asking family members to fly to your shower. I would hope someone will host one in each family’s city.

Post # 11
464 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 1993

How about letting one of the local aunts or friend host a luncheon or brunch?  That could be a fun get-together with no gifts tied to it if you don’t want.  Yes, a bridal shower is theoretically designed around bringing gifts but now, in modern times, it is more of an occasion to celebrate the special occasion and your friends and family are probably asking because they would like to celebrate with you.

I am currently planning one for a bride who lives in one city, her family in a different city, and his family in even another city.  I am looking at it as a wonderful time to celebrate the bride.  We are planning one for his family to attend and inclosing recipe cards and asking his family to share their recipes with her.  You might think of doing something like that and it is inexpensive for your guests to contribute.

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