Post # 1
Bees, I need help on this one! My Maid/Matron of Honor is planning my bridal shower for just the women that are invited to the wedding. Now I also have a family friend that has asked me if she can throw us a wedding shower. Per my google results, this is a shower for men and women both. Is this okay to do both or should I decline the wedding shower offer? I have friends (in the south) that always do both.
Post # 2
Is the guest list totally different for the bridal shower and the couple shower?
From my circle, there’s only one who had a couple shower and the bride did not have a separate bridal shower after that. Everyone else I know only have a bridal shower.
Post # 3
socalgirl1689: it would be a different guest list for each. only
my pretty close friends will be at the bridal shower.
Post # 4
A bridal shower is a wedding shower and since the point of either is to get gifts, it’s a little iffy to have two.
Post # 5
beelove414: I. think it’s fine if the guestlists are completely different. Some people simply want to celebate with you. For my first wedding, I had 4 showers, hosted by: my Future Mother-In-Law, a neighbour from my hometown, my bridesmaids and my work colleagues.
I see no difference between 4 small showers of 15 guests each, and one huge shower with 60 guests. As long as all the guests are invited to the wedding,no rules are being broken. As a guest, I would rather attend a small shower than a huge affair.
I have also seen references to wedding showers being mixed gender.
Traditionally, the bridal shower is only for women. It is meant to celebrate and help the new bride get ready for her role as wife and to help her set up her new household.
These days, there is a modern bridal shower, called the wedding shower, where both parties can come together. Its purpose is similar to the bridal shower.
Post # 6
What is the point of the 2nd shower? People who aren’t coming to the wedding? Personally I would decline. I hate being invited to showers, and I would HATE to be invited to a shower of a wedding I wasn’t even going to. I personally believe in 1 wedding = 1 gift. ( I will send you a gift right around the wedding, no need to have a shower.) I do realize that not many people agree with me!
Post # 7
beelove414: If the bridal shower being thrown by your Maid/Matron of Honor is just for the women invited to the wedding then who is the wedding shower for? Just the men invited to the wedding?
I thought it was considered gift grabby and rude to invite people to a shower for a wedding they weren’t invited too (with the exception of a quick workplace shower).
Post # 8
j_jaye: I am inviting my own close girl friends and siblings, cousins to the bridal shower. If I had a wedding shower I would extend that invite to other women I’m not inviting. Such as parents friends, extended family Etc. the lady who wants to throw the wedding shower is actually my moms very good friend so it would be a really different guest list.
Post # 9
Its ok to do both!!! If someone is invited to both and doesn’t want to attend, that person can say no.It sounds like you will invite different people to these events so it’s not even an issue. I’ve been to multiple showers for the same bride before and thought nothing of it at all! I don’t know why people get so uptight about this.
More than one person wants to shower you with love, and yes gifts. GO FOR IT!!! Have a great time and DON”T FEEL GUILTY! Enjoy this time with your family and friends. Play games, eat great food, take awesome pictures. Don’t feel like you can’t enjoy yourself!
You can always say gifts optional if you want, or you can donate any gifts you get that you may not want or already have to a charity of your choice. This is about people being excited you are getting married and celebrating you and your Fiance. Enjoy it.
Post # 10
If they have different guest lists then having 100 showers is fine in my opinion. I think it is rude to invite people to multiple showers, but if there is not a crossover on the guest list, go for it!
Post # 11
Is this family friend invited to the wedding? If she isn’t, does she think she is?
I personally would feel uncomfortable letting someone throw me a shower if I had no intention of inviting them…
But, if she is invited, I see no problem with it. As long as the guest lists don’t overlap.
Post # 12
Don’t invite anyone to a shower who isn’t even important enough to get an invite to the wedding. Someone once invited me to their shower and bachlorette party, but I didn’t get an invite to the wedding. I thought it was rude. I was good enough to buy that person a gift and buy them drinks all night but not good enough to attend the event we were celebrating.
I don’t see a problem with 2 shower events, but if some of the guests overlap, you need to make it clear to those guests that you don’t need or even want two gifts from them.