Post # 1
i never really wanted one (really) but the wedding date is sneaking up and my Maid/Matron of Honor asked if i want to be invloved in the planning. I finally started thinking about it and it’s going to be a huge pain to find a place to have it & get our moms and the BMs there since they all live far apart. i wouldnt mind a co-shower(?) where my Fiance, his guys & the dads get to hang out too but i realize im already doing a bunch of non traditional things & dont know where to draw the line. although i dont want to plan my own shower, and my Maid/Matron of Honor is happy to do it, i dont want her to have to worry about all these little details! ive never been to a shower myself but it’s got to be a lot of work! how involved were you? how did you deal with everyone being from different areas? i’d really appreciate any advice.
Post # 3
Bridal Showers are thrown in honor of the bride, thus, the bride should not really have a part in the planning. Each time I was in a wedding party, or even when I was the bride, the details of the shower were kept as a secret from me. Can any of your other BMs help, even though they may be far apart? Maybe your Maid/Matron of Honor can help assistance from your mother and your Future Mother-In-Law.
Post # 4
You sound a lot like me in the days that lead up to our wedding. I was a bit of a control freak and my boss, who threw us a couples shower, told me to just let go and let her handle everything. She gave me maybe one task to do the day of the shower, but her advice really helped. It’s supposed to be fun, and you said yourself she’s happy to do it. So I say just let her have it and show up. You have enough on your plate with the wedding.
Post # 5
The only thing you might want to do (besides relax and enjoy it!) is give her a list of names and addresses of your female relatives (although your mom and sister could do that, too, if she knows that). I’m sure people will appreciate being invited even if they decide it’s too far for them to drive.
You can request a co-shower if you want to, but the only ones i’ve ever been to, only the groom came, no other men (a little weird maybe).
Post # 6
It’s actually not really appropriate for you to help plan your own bridal shower. Think about it, the purpose of the party is to "shower" the bride with gifts; it looks like a gift grab if you’re throwing the party for yourself. Give your Maid/Matron of Honor the names & contact info of your other BM’s, your sister, mother, Mother-In-Law, aunts… anyone else who might want to help. But don’t worry about planning it yourself. One less thing for you to worry about 🙂
Post # 7
Don’t be involved–it’s not appropriate, and you have other things to worry about. The only thing I did for mine was provide names and addresses of my friends; my Future Mother-In-Law provided the names and addresses of relatives. Occasionally my bridesmaids would ask me if I had a preference about something, and I always replied that I did not care–and I meant it. It was lovely and absolutely no stress for me. Just enjoy it!
It’s one of the MOH’s expected duties to worry about all the little details of the shower. And trust me, it is nowhere near as much of a pain as planning a wedding, so don’t freak about putting too much on her. It’s no more trouble than planning a birthday party–unless, of course, you insist on something fancy like a trip to the Bahamas!
Post # 8
i’m more of an involved bride, i guess, to put it nicely. i wanted to be a part of planning the bridal shower and even the bach party b/c i am a control freak and knew exactly what i wanted. so i gave my mom a list of things i wanted for the bridal shower, helped her find the venue, with planning, etc, but on the actual day of, i let her host the shower. and i plan on doing the same for the bach party. i’m sorry i just couldn’t let it go!