(Closed) Bridal Shower- Bridesmaids not Helping…

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 4
1498 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

First, it is not appropriate for your mother to host the shower.

Second, your Out of Town friends probably don’t know what to do you help since they are not local.  Your sister needs to deligate.  Send an email to all the girls who can or offered to help.  Split of the tasks something like this:

-one girl does the invites, one girl does food, one girl does the drinks, one girl does the decor, an another does the games.  Try to divvy the costs up evenly. Everybody needs deadlines for when they should have things ordered by or made by. Your sister should ask that everyone let her know when they’ve taken care of thier stuff and report back to the girls the final costs, so your sister can even everything out cost-wise.  If someone can’t contribute as much as another, you sister needs to eat the cost since she’s the Maid/Matron of Honor.

Post # 5
1205 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

This is so hard.  Yes, I agree that it is generally frowned upon for a mother to host the shower, but sometimes that’s the only realistic option.  How sweet of your mom to let everyone use her space!  Hopefully she won’t get stuck cleaning up…

While it would be lovely for all your maids to help with the shower, as someone co-planning a shower I have to say I actually really wish I were in your sister’s shoes.  I would MUCH rather have one person basically in charge, with possible help as needed, than have all of us ostensibly doing our share but really me frantically chasing after everyone trying to get them to update me with what has (my tasks) and has not (everything else) been done.  Oh well.

Good luck to your sis, and I hope you enjoy your shower!

Post # 6
1927 posts
Buzzing bee

Honestly, you shouldn’t be involved in this process at all.  Your sister just needs to take a stand and work this out with the other girls.  If you say anything to them you are going to look exactly the way you don’t want to look (demanding and greedy).  Just suggest to her that she assign specific tasks to the other girls.  They may really not know what needs to be done so it’s difficult for them to help if they aren’t given guidelines.

Post # 7
3267 posts
Sugar bee

@Moose1209: @mcnetn3:

I agree with you both.  Mom should not be hosting the shower, and someone needs to delegate the tasks.  If I tell someone I am willing to help and then they don’t contact me with something to do, I assume they don’t want my help.  I’ve made the offer and the ball is back in their court waiting for a response.

It is quite easy to tackle this via email if they are all Out of Town.  But I don’t think the OP as the bride needs to be involved in this.  It doesn’t look right from the outside, that the bride is organizing the help for her shower.

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