(Closed) Bridal shower — buying from the registry?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
1819 posts
Buzzing bee

I can’t say I’ve heard that anywhere. The few bridal showers I’ve been to, I have used their registry to purchase an item. The exception was the Lingerie Bridal shower where guests were asked to purchase lingerie for the bride. I thought this was weird so I just got her a gift card for that one. 

I say look at the registry and find something that she might use/like/have chosen just to hedge your bets. I’m curious what other bees will say about this. 

Post # 3
Member
327 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I think it depends on your location? I would ask friends near you. Here we only use the registry for shower gifts and give cash for weddings. I would be surprised if someone showed up to my wedding with a physical gift, though I do expect a few from some out of towners. 

Post # 4
Member
288 posts
Helper bee

I’ve always thought you were supposed to buy from the registry if they have one. So I’ve always done that.

Post # 5
Member
1733 posts
Bumble bee

Never heard of that before. If there is a registry, I buy from it. They’ll end up getting it eventually – bridal shower or wedding. Don’t think it really matters to the couple…as long as they get it 😂

Post # 6
Member
5360 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

View original reply
adrienneruthie:  I’ve never heard of shower gifts being just for the bride unless it was a lingerie shower. If it’s just a general wedding shower (or even a theme like kitchen or “around the clock”) generally you buy from the registry.

Post # 7
Member
18 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I’ve always seen it off the registry for bridal showers. I agree gifts tend to be more “for the bride” but I always assumed that meant guests would go for, say, the Kitchenaid instead of the Shop Vac.

 

Forgive the gender stereotypes, hah. This from the girl who, the night we moved in together, was the one putting together the TV, Blu Ray and surround sound while he cooked dinner, but yeah…the Kitchenaid is totally for me and the Shop Vac all his.

Post # 8
Member
3791 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

View original reply
adrienneruthie:  I’ve always used the registry when purshaing bridal shower gifts. It’s so much easier. I have never heard of what you mentioned before.

At the two showers I had, most gave off the registries but we did get some gifts that were not (which was fine). All gifts on the list were registered by the both of us, regardless of what the item was.

Post # 9
Member
8 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2016

I’ve never heard of that! Maybe it depends on where you live? Atleast around here, for bridal showers you buy from the registry and for weddings you bring a card with money, i actually dont think i recall anyone bringing an actual gift to a wedding so i guess it sounds like a regional or family type thing? But whatever you feel comfortable with should work!

Post # 10
Member
2274 posts
Buzzing bee

There is NO “supposed to” but custom varies by region. 

IHave sometimes given part of a registry item as the shoeer gift, then the rest as the wedding gift.

For example if the registry listing is a Noritake China pattern, I give a platter and creamer/sugar at the shower, then have place settings sent as the wedding gift.

When able to do so, I choose gifts rather than giving money.

Post # 11
Member
1280 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

I always buy from the registry for the shower, and then give cash for the wedding.

Post # 12
Member
4025 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

View original reply
adrienneruthie:  Huh? I almost always exclusively buy gifts from the registry for the shower and give cash for the wedding. I’m not sure what you mean by saying give gifts “only for the bride”, but honestly, I would be a little weirded out receiving items specifically for me and not for my Fiance from the shower. At my shower, FI’s aunt gave us (though the card was only addressed to me) a gift card to a craft store because “she knows I like to craft.” I do and it was very thoughtful, but it felt more like what you get someone for their birthday, not their wedding shower. We are going to use it to finish up some decor items, but as ungrateful (but honest) as this sounds, I would have prefered a household items off our registry as we are moving in three weeks and are coming with nothing.

Post # 13
Member
8480 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I always buy from the registry for a shower and give cash at the wedding.

Post # 14
Member
4044 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

View original reply
adrienneruthie:  We use the registry for shower gifts. In my area, most people give cash as a wedding gift. I got things off the registry for the wedding and out of 100+ people, I only got 2 actual gifts at the wedding  – the rest was checks or cash. 

Post # 15
Member
55 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

I always buy from the registry unless it’s a “lingerie shower.”  

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